Set me free (Išlaisvink mane)

превод на Английски

Set me free

Set me free from a silence,
Wake me up in a dream after a day
You created a world from a strange puzzle
drew boundary between light and darkness.
How I want to change imaginary truth
delete all the rules from my own book.
Set me free from a silence,
Wake me up after day,
Set me free from the thoughts
And let's go back together from the start
you created a world in different space
found in myself the strenght to stand up
it's not an end, it is just a beginning
If we walk together, we will win
Set me free from a silence,
Wake me up after day,
Set me free from the thoughts
And let's go together from the start
Set me free from an emotional stange maze
From the nights and days, dull dreams
Set me free from the mistakes, unconcerned faces,
Lock in yourself, all the rest delete.
Set me free from a silence,
Wake me up after a day,
Set me free from the thoughts
And let's go back together from the start
Set me free
Wake me up
Set me free
and let's walk together
Пуснато от Jura в Пон, 20/08/2012 - 17:07
Коментари на автора:

I am open for corrections Smile

получил/а 1 благодарност
nestea4 години 31 седмици

Išlaisvink mane

Išlaisvink mane iš tylos,
Pažadink sapne po dienos.
Tu sukūrei pasaulį iš dėlionės keistos,
Ribas nubraižei tarp šviesos ir tamsos.
Kaip noriu pakeisti išgalvotas tiesas,
Taisykles ištrint iš mano knygos visas.


Jura     Август 21st, 2012

No offense but your version maybe is clearer in English Smile but far away from real lithuanian version Smile

    Август 21st, 2012

Since you're open to corrections, I could have a few remarks on the English, since I could not speak a word of Lithuanian for the life of me Smile.

"after day" does not exist in English. could be "after a day", "after days", "at the end of the day", "after the day is gone"...

"let's go together from the start" is understandable but sounds strange. Something like "let's go back together from the start" maybe ?

"you created world in different space" -> a couple of articles are needed here (a world in a different space)

"Strenght to stand up I found in myself" -> very unusual word order. I would not write this unless the original text used a very strange word order too (for aesthetic reasons maybe). More like either "I found in myself the strength to stand up", or "In myself, I found the strength to stand up" or "The strenght to stand up, I found it in myself"

"If we go together" -> that's certainly what the original says word for word, but frankly it sounds bad in English. It's too vague. It could mean anything from "if we get together" to "if we die together". Better use "are" or "walk" or "stay", whatever is more precise and better fits the original.

uncolourful dreams -> "uncolourful" is pretty heavy. Maybe "drab" or "dull" ?

"From the nights and days, uncolourful dreams / Set me free from the mistakes, unconcerned faces" -> really difficult to follow. "set me free" should be put at the start of the sentence, or if you really want to stick to a line-for-line translation you would need to use a super-heavy construction like "From the .... set me free, as from .... ". Also an article is missing in the end : "from the mistakes and the unconcerned faces" maybe ? The relationship between mistakes and unconcerned faces is somewhat unclear.

Cute cat, btw. My best meows to him! Smile

Jura     Август 21st, 2012

Thanks, I will correct Wink and I hear a meow back to you Laughing out loud

Jura     Август 21st, 2012

well, I am not sure what to do with "uncolourful dreams " because in lithuanian language "nespalvoti" means no coloured.
Lithuanian is so hard language, so hard to translate in english , too many metaphors which make no sense in english Smile this is the main problem Smile

    Август 21st, 2012

I think I have an idea of what you mean. I have similar problems with Russian. Lots of vivid images that will lose their strength in an English translation.

However, in that particular case, "dull dream" seems a pretty good candidate. It has the idea of "lack of energy", "boring" or "depressing", like I assume this "nesplavotni" is supposed to evoke too?

Jura     Август 22nd, 2012

Yes, exactly Wink by the way ,I know Russian language as well Smile and lithuanian and russian is very closely connected Smile We have the same sayings, comparisons but in our own language Smile So that's why is very easy to translate lithuanian-russian texts or vise versa. Smile

"Nespalvoti" - is more like depressing or dead , but boring also suits Smile I think it's up to listener's imagination Smile

Besatnias     Август 24th, 2012

And lots of smileys. Wink