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if i lose

i feel like a second-hand store, i'm the wicked one.
if my children invite me over, i act unsatisfied,
and when they visit me, i'm transparent
i look pale, i sob.
my children clean me, strangers take me out,
in belief that as soon as I see myself, i'll die.
 
if I lose my memory, don't you be worried,
it's just that my life reached the end of a sad day.
if i lose my mind, don't you be angry
if it's not my home anymore, just leave me in the hallway.
 
if i lose my grip, and if it makes you worried,
if it makes you feel bad, or if I don't recognize you anymore,
and if I drop the ball, don't you be too pity,
my head is crowded with forgotten faces.
 
i feel like a used clothing, i pretend to be a mummy*
my children move me around like an old manuscript,
and i have pages falling off, i'm bad-written.
 
i feel weird, i get dressed way too late.
yes, i think about times when i was racing, without being aware,
against time, without saying goodbye to myself.
 
if I lose my memory, don't you be worried,
it's just that my life reached the end of a sad day.
if i lose my mind, don't you be angry
if it's not my home anymore, just leave me in the hallway.
 
if i lose my grip, and if it makes you worried,
if it makes you feel bad, or if I don't recognize you anymore,
and if I drop the ball, don't you be too pity,
my head is crowded with forgotten faces.
 
if I lose my memory, don't you be worried,
it's just that my life reached the end of a sad day.
if i lose my mind, don't you be angry
if it's not my home anymore, just leave me in the hallway.
 
if i lose my grip, and if it makes you worried,
if it makes you feel bad, or if I don't recognize you anymore,
and if I drop the ball, don't you be too pity,
my head is crowded with forgotten faces.
 
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