In the Rhythm of St.-Petersburg

Proofreading requested
Russian

В ритме Петербурга

Снова Невский проспект прогоняет желание сна.
На какой-то момент я на грани схожденья с ума…
Я незримая мышь в карнавале рекламных огней.
Ты красиво молчишь, не считая ни денег, ни дней.

Бьётся в окна кафе ослепительно черная ночь,
Жар больных фонарей, им, наверно, ничем не помочь…
Лихорадочен сон и обманчив недолгий покой.
Я хочу в подворотню, где снег, озаренный луной.

Я в ритме Петербурга…
Ведь я в ритме Петербурга…

Непременно нырнем в эту вечность, в ее черноту,
Самым длинным путём постоим на чугунном мосту.
Безымянный святой мимо нас безмятежно пройдет.
Он художник, он бродит и пишет всю ночь напролет…

Пишет серую зиму, пишет, пишет…
Пишет свет фонарей, подворотен трясину, пишет, пишет…
И нас неприкаянных в ней…

Я в ритме Петербурга…
Ведь я в ритме Петербурга…

See video
Try to align
English

In the Rhythm of St.-Petersburg

Yet again, the Nevski Avenue chases away all desire to sleep.
At one point I'm on the verge of going insane...
I'm a subtle mouse at this carnival of the billboard lights.
You're beautifully silent, not counting money or days.

The blindingly dark night knocks on the windows of a cafe,
Heat of the sick city lights, they probably can't be helped...
Feverish dreams and deceptive meager repose.
I long to be out in the street, where the snow is lit by the moon.

I'm in the rhythm of St.-Petersburg...
Really, I'm in the rhythm of St.-Petersburg...

Surely we'll dive into this eternity, into its darkness,
In the longest path, we'll stand on the cast-iron bridge.
A nameless saint will serenely pass us.
He's a painter, he wonders and paints through the night...

He paints the gray winter, he paints, he paints...
He paints the ablaze of the street lights, bogs of gates, he paints, he paints...
And us restless in it...

I'm in the rhythm of St.-Petersburg...
Really, I'm in the rhythm of St.-Petersburg...

Submitted by banana.nikitina on Sun, 02/09/2012 - 18:54
Author's comments:

Smile

thanked 1 time
UserTime ago
Guest2 years 15 weeks
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The author of translation requested proofreading.
It means that he/she will be happy to receive corrections, suggestions etc about the translation.
If you are proficient in both languages of the language pair, you are welcome to leave your comments.
UserPosted ago
2 years 13 weeks
5
Comments
    September 4th, 2012

Thank you for translation!
I really like this song! Smile

banana.nikitina     September 4th, 2012

you're welcome! rate me please Wink

    September 4th, 2012

Very good translation, as far as my Russian allows to estimate.
Just a couple of details:
He paints the ablaze -> blaze ?
And us restless in it... -> maybe "and us too, restless in it.." ?

banana.nikitina     September 4th, 2012

thanks, yeah "blaze" is probably better Smile
but I'm not actually a fan of "and us too, restless in it"
I like it more how I wrote it. It kind of leaves you hanging, I think that's what the original text indented. Smile

    September 4th, 2012

That's well possible. I was not sure the English conveyed the idea of the singer being painted along with the landscape. But here again I'm neither Russian nor English native.
Anyway that's just a tiny detail. The translation as a whole is very good, I think.

banana.nikitina     September 5th, 2012

well thank you for that.

    September 17th, 2012