Bosy - Batfarrag 3al ayyam (بتفرج على الايام) (English translation)

English translation

Watching days

Neither do I see, nor do I hear. I'm (just), with glistening tears in (my) eyes,
watching days going their one-way path.1
 
Neither do I see, nor do I hear. I'm (just), with glistening tears in (my) eyes,
watching days going their one-way path.
 
I'm getting over obstacles one wall after the other, orbiting against gravity
And I go to touch the ray of light but find no sun has risen
 
Rhythm of the dream is of a slow beat. It (=the dream) is greater than to be contained is this spacious universe 2
And my dream is just like an innocent child dropping a tear from his eye
 
Neither do I see, nor do I hear. I'm (just), with glistening tears in (my) eyes,
watching days going their one-way path.
 
Solitude is isolated walls, Windows and doors. yet are closed3
Solitude is isolated walls, Windows and doors. yet are closed
 
One's life is hours that are passing, like candle when it is burning,
Like roses when they drying by coldness and running out of their fragrances
 
I'm getting over obstacles one wall after the other, orbiting against gravity
And I go to touch the ray of light but find no sun has risen
 
Rhythm of the dream is of a slow beat. It is greater than to be contained is this spacious universe
And my dream is just like an innocent child dropping a tear from his eye
 
Neither do I see, nor do I hear. I'm (just), with glistening tears in (my) eyes,
watching days going their one-way path.
 
  • 1. Literally: Going and not coming back
  • 2. Literally: The space of this universe is tight for it
  • 3. A lot of events in this series occur in an asylum
Submitted by Eagles Hunter on Tue, 04/04/2017 - 21:26
Added in reply to request by Creative Writing
Last edited by Eagles Hunter on Fri, 07/04/2017 - 17:44
Author's comments:

This song was introduced in the Egyptian TV series "El-Khankah" (= Asylum)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRxBXkrrqKE
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I translated this song but not literally. It was too hard to translate it literally and make it comprehensible. Tell me if you found anything you couldn't understand or you didn't like. Honestly, This is a very beautiful song that is worth to be introduced in the best possible form. So, do not hesitate and give me your reviews and suggestions. Regular smile

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Arabic

Batfarrag 3al ayyam (بتفرج على الايام)

Comments
Velsket    Wed, 05/04/2017 - 21:42
5

صعبة النوعية من الاغاني دي... المعنى كله واصل و زي الفل
Teeth smile

بعض الاقتراحات

Watching Days--> I'm Watching Days Go By

#1 لاٌ أنِاّ شُاٍيَفّه ولًاِ سٌاِمَعّهِ -->
طب ليه محططش علطول
neither do I see, nor hear
هي أقرب

#1 Tears in my eyes do not shine --> In my eyes there are glistening tears

#2 هايلة الجملة دي Regular smile

#7 إيٌقٍاَعِ الٌحّلِمً نبْضٌهٍ بُطّيِئَ --> The rhythm of the dream is that of a slow heartbeat.

#10 Solitude --> Loneliness

#12 like candle when it is burning, --> Like a candle going out

#13 زٌيِ الٌوٍرَد مّاِ يٌنٍشَفِ مٌنٍ الٌبٍرَد مّا يُبٍقَيِ فٌيِ وّرْقُه عٌطِوَرٍ --> Just like roses when they dry up out of coldness and have no more scent in their petals

عاش الأداء Regular smile

التشكيل عامللي مشكلة نفسية ... XD

Eagles Hunter    Fri, 07/04/2017 - 14:50

I didn't use: "neither ........., nor ........." because I didn't want to use: Neither... nor.....nor. It didn't sound right to me.
I preferred to use "solitude" because I felt it will be more suitable to the general atmosphere of the "Asylum" as I wrote in the footnote. I aso think that it's Arabic equivalent "عزلة" would have been used if it wasn't sound too "Exotic" in Egyptian dialect.
Here also she describes herself as a burning "melting" candle (as I understood).
تسلم يا كبير

Velsket    Fri, 07/04/2017 - 15:35

Well, you wouldn't need to use neither..nor.. nor. The line would read:
Neither do I see, nor do I hear. In my eyes there are glistening tears.

Or shining tears (by the way on the first line you wrote "do not shine", they do shine--> في عينيا الدموع لامعة)

Also I didn't really find solitude suitable because it carries very positive connotations which is not what you get at an asylum. You feel solitude when you're on a vacation on an island or so. Even عزلة would be translated as isolation, never solitude in my opinion because solitude sounds too positive for this context.

Also about the candle, it says "بتخلص", so when you say "burning candle" it doesn't show the idea that candle is dying out, a burning candle can be one that goes forever for example or one that's still burning on, which is why I would have preferred "going out" or "dying down."

But then again as I told you, I'm quite picky so, hope you don't mind that.

أي خدمة Regular smile

Eagles Hunter    Fri, 07/04/2017 - 15:58

أضحكك
أنا كل ده فاكرها: لا شايفة ولا سامعة (ولا) في عيني
Regular smile Regular smile Regular smile Regular smile Regular smile Regular smile Regular smile
No wonder why I couldn't find it logical. Now that makes sense.
It is so funny how can you make a disasters when you translate not giving the sufficient intention to the original text and concentrate only on the product.
I've reread it finally and made some major changes. I hope it sounds now better.
By the way: I liked your "Glisten". yeah, It is closer to the point. Regular smile