A Lot (Bir Hayli)

Proofreading requested
English translation

A Lot

Versions: #1#2
Which promise has been kept, anyway?
Tell me, is any of us happy now?
Is it worth that it's over one sided?
Which one of us is ashamed, anyway?
Some love and leave
Some break hearts and leave
It can change about who is the person
Some are loved to death
Some can break up without saying even a "farewell"
Long time no see you said
Who knows how are you doing
You're asking after me; you've changed also
In time, a lot
It's been a long time after you've left, I got used to it
Your blues on me is childish way
You are inside of me, so because of that
I took care of myself, a lot
 
Submitted by zey-chan on Wed, 27/03/2013 - 00:11
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The author of translation requested proofreading.
It means that he/she will be happy to receive corrections, suggestions etc about the translation.
If you are proficient in both languages of the language pair, you are welcome to leave your comments.
Comments
Lisa Beck     February 15th, 2016

You requested proofreading, so I took the time to go through your translation. My comments are below the line of song in parentheses. If you don't see any, it means I thought your translation was good. Keep in mind that in terms of interpretation, I wasn't of much help because my Turkish is not that good, but in terms of the English itself, my suggestions for correction are good because I am a native speaker of English, have taken numerous English classes, and have done well in them. Without further ado, my suggestions follow:

Which promise has been kept, anyway?

Tell me, is any of us happy now?
(Tell me, are either of us happy now?)

Is it worth that it's over one sided?
(Doesn't make a lot of sense in English. "Is it worth it now that it's over?" makes sense, but I don't know if that strays too far from the original meaning.)

Which one of us is ashamed, anyway?

Some love and leave

Some break hearts and leave

It can change about who is the person
(It can change who the person is)(Line is a bit awkward with the inclusion of the word "about," and unless a question is being asked, or it is part of a demonstrative clause beginning with "who," English rarely, if ever, puts "is" directly after "who." In fact, unless it is a question, it is best avoided altogether because stronger sentences can be created without it.)

Some are loved to death

Some can break up without saying even a "farewell"
(Some can break up without even saying a "farewell")(I believe "even" is more often placed in front of the verb -- to the left of it -- in English. Though it can be placed after it, in this case, it sounds odd to me.)

Long time no see you said
("Long time, no see," you said)(Some people don't care that much about punctuation, but you seem like you really want to learn, so I am being thorough here.)

Who knows how are you doing
(Who knows how you are doing)

You're asking after me; you've changed also

In time, a lot

It's been a long time after you've left, I got used to it

Your blues on me is childish way
(Your blues on me is a childish way)

You are inside of me, so because of that

I took care of myself, a lot

Well, zey-chan, there you have it -- my two cents for what it's worth. Occasionally I put out an English translation of a Turkish song. I haven't studied Turkish for that long and my vocabulary and understanding are limited, but feel free to critique my work as well. After my last attempt, however, I think I'll add a bit more vocabulary to my base and learn a bit more of the grammar before I make another attempt. It is not easy and I really appreciate people like you who are taking the time to do it. Çok teşekkür ederim.

BTW: Tried to send this to you in a message, but I can only send one message a day, so I put it here instead.

zey-chan     June 22nd, 2016

thank you very much i always ask proofreading finally someone gave me a favor Smile thank you it's ok to not send it through a direct message. (i'm not sure about this sentence though Smile )

the song itself is really "ambiguous" in turkish too. weird sentences. but your corrrectiions are much appreciated. feel free to correct any word from me. it's a good english class, thank you again.