There is a train heading to nowhere
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Klou on 2017-12-08
J03D Klou on 2018-04-13| 1. | Die Besten Schlager Aller Zeiten - German Hit Mix |
| 2. | Die Besten Schlager Aller Zeiten - German Hit Mix (Part 2) |
| 3. | Number One Hits in Germany (1972) |
| 1. | Es fährt ein Zug nach Nirgendwo |
| 2. | Geh' nicht vorbei |
| 3. | Warum ist die Welt ohne Liebe |
Burghold 
magicmulder
Wed, 11/04/2018 - 07:57
Sehr schön, nur ein paar Kleinigkeiten:
"With me as only passenger" => "With me as its only passenger" oder "With me as the only passenger""
"And that I will have you forever." => "And that I would have you forever."
"Does it really make you feel nothing // That our happiness falls apart all at once?" => "Do you really not care // That our happiness suddenly falls apart?"
"Whatever happened with the other" => "Whatever I had with the other (woman)"
"But there's a tear in your gaze" => Auch wenn das die korrekte direkte ÜS ist, finde ich, "But there's a tear in your eye" klingt besser (die deutsche Variante ist auch eher ungewöhnlich, aber klingt für mich poetischer als die direkte ÜS).
magicmulder
Fri, 13/04/2018 - 08:55
"Übersetzung" ;)
magicmulder
Fri, 13/04/2018 - 09:08
I've seen a tear -> plutôt "I've seen than tear" ou "I've seen it", non ?
No. "There's a tear in your eye, I saw a tear". (Though I assume you mistyped and meant "that thear", not "than tear. ;))
magicmulder
Fri, 13/04/2018 - 09:42
A perfect literal translation would be "But a tear in your eye, a tear I have seen" (which is basically "But a tear in your eye I have seen" with a repetition thrown in). Since translating offers all degrees of freedom, this can also be correctly translated as "But there was a tear in your eye, I saw that tear" or, reversing the lines, "I saw there was a tear in your eye" etc.
I have long abandoned the tendency to translate as closely as possible to the original sentence structure and prefer whatever sounds best in the target language, even if it omits some structure from, or adds words to, the literal original.
Feel free to correct whatever I wrote, even when I haven't requested proofreading. ^^