Arabic Proofreading

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Moderator — I'm A Goner
Joined: 10.07.2011
Pending moderation

Good evening,

Can someone please help me with this translation of mine?

It is a Japanese song, but you can work from my English translation. I realise I'm losing much knowledge of the language, so I'd like to be given advice on how to greatly improve my writing skills in Arabic. Everything is welcome Regular smile

Thanks in advance.