Khalil Gibran - On Giving and Taking (Spanish translation)

Proofreading requested
English

On Giving and Taking

Once there lived a man who had a valley--full of needles. And one day the mother of Jesus came to him and said: “Friend, my son’s garment is torn and I must needs mend it before he goeth to the temple. Wouldst thou not give me a needle?”
 
And he gave her not a needle, but he gave her a learned discourse on Giving and Taking to carry to her son before he should go to the temple.
 
Submitted by maluca on Mon, 06/02/2017 - 07:18
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Spanish translation

Acerca de dar y tomar

Había una vez un hombre que tenía un valle lleno de agujas. Y un día le vino la madre de Jesús y le dijo: "Amigo, la prenda de mi hijo está rasgada y tengo que arreglarla antes de que él vaya al templo. ¿No me darías una aguja?"
 
Y no le dio ninguna aguja, sino que le dio un discurso erudito acerca de Dar y Tomar para que se lo contara a su hijo antes de que él fuese al templo.
 
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Submitted by michealt on Sat, 17/02/2018 - 02:13
Added in reply to request by maluca
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Comments
Rezz    Sat, 17/02/2018 - 02:56
5

A great translation, Tom! There are only a couple of mistakes I'd like to point out and suggestions I want to make:

- "prenda" is feminine, so it shouldn't be "la prenda de mi hijo está rasgado" but "la prenda de mi hijo está rasgada".

- the subsequent "el" should have an accent ("él")

- And, finally, "he gave her a learned discourse on Giving and Taking to carry to her son before he should go to the temple" should be "sino que le dio un sermón ilustrado/erudito acerca de/sobre Dar y Tomar para que se lo dijera/contara a su hijo antes de que fuera/fuese al templo".

Even if you didn't take these points into account, it's still very well done Regular smile

roster 31    Sat, 17/02/2018 - 02:56

Hi Tom,
I don't really know what kind of composition this is but, there are a few mistakes I want to point out:
!. Typo in the title; "acercar' --> "acerca".
2. "la prenda de mi hijo está rasgado" --> "rasgada".
3. "antes de que el" --> "él"
4. " sino le puso un discurso" --> "sino que le dio un discurso".

Take care

roster 31    Sat, 17/02/2018 - 02:58

Sorry, Rezz. I think we were working at the same time.
I'll erase.
¿Sermón? ¡Qué bonito! Tienes razón. Se me escapó.

michealt    Sat, 17/02/2018 - 04:14

Thanks for your comments, Rezz and Rosa. It worries me that I'm still making mistakes at a rate of about 1 for every 20 words, but tif they all get pointed out I am less likely to make the same mistakes in the future (I hope).