Heavy chill (Heavy Chill)

Proofreading requested
English translation

Heavy chill

We've been on our way for days
We've been plagued by every hail and storm
We've been performing our duty for weeks
but at last the land is in sight!
 
Land ho!
 
Arriving at destination,
I swam for the last meters
The seagulls are already singing,
calling me forth.
The dance will soon follow, so
I swing the floral wreath around my neck
The island is drawing me into its spell
 
This is the moment that reveals me
that a good deed does not go for nought.
So I will indulge as much as I please,
for today is a holiday!
 
I let go of my swords and
drop onto the green moss,
staring idly till
sundown.
The bonfire crackles softly and
rises toward heaven, getting on its way
while I just remain here and
stretch my legs.
 
This is the moment that reveals me
that a good deed does not go for nought.
So I will indulge as much as I please,
for today is a holiday!
 
Do whatever you want with my translations. I'm not rich enough to sue you anyway.
Submitted by petit élève on Fri, 07/04/2017 - 18:27
Added in reply to request by Higgs Boson
Author's comments:

Slightly adapted to make it sound a bit lighter (hopefully).

The author of translation requested proofreading.
It means that he/she will be happy to receive corrections, suggestions etc about the translation.
If you are proficient in both languages of the language pair, you are welcome to leave your comments.
German

Heavy Chill

videoem: 
Comments
Sciera    Fri, 07/04/2017 - 18:34

Good translation!
Some parts could be more literal, e.g. "Sturm und Hagel" to "storm and hail" instead of "hailstorm", but that's a matter of taste.

However, "drum" means "and so", not "drum".
Therefore:
"Soon it will start, the dance, and so"

petit élève    Fri, 07/04/2017 - 18:36

Haha I should have paid more attention to the capitals. Thanks, Sciera

Sciera    Fri, 07/04/2017 - 18:49

Or rather less Wink smile At least not to the ones at the line beginnings. This and the following line are one sentence.

Sciera    Fri, 07/04/2017 - 19:07

Much better Regular smile

petit élève    Fri, 07/04/2017 - 19:15

After reading your profile, I shudder to think of what could have happened if you hadn't been pleased :D.

Higgs Boson    Fri, 07/04/2017 - 19:32

Huh, that's amusing. I am not that intimidating. Just enough.