In Pieces
Kappaleina
Jos kosken käteesi me räjähdämme molemmat
Jos auon suutani se liekkiin leimahtaa
jos kuljet kanssani me eksymme varmasti
jos lausun nimesi se vieras nimi on
Niin kappaleina, sinä olet, niin kappaleina
niin kappaleina tässä maailmassa
niin kappaleina, minä olen, niin kappaleina
niin kappaleina tässä maailmassa
Kun tulet ylleni kuin leimuava lippumeri
kasvosi, vannon, toisiin jatkuvasti vaihtuvat
ilme vain pysyy kun suusi vääntyy auki
vertako lie tuo mitä valuu ylle maiseman
In Pieces
If I touch your hand we both will explode
If I move my mouth it will burst into flames
If you walk with me we will surely get lost
If I say your name it’s an unfamiliar name
So in pieces, you are, so in pieces
So in pieces in this world
So in pieces, I am, so in pieces
So in pieces in this world
When you come over me like a flaming sea of flags
Your face, I swear, changes into another constantly
Only the expression remains when your mouth twists open
Blood or what that which streams over the scenery
| thanked 3 times |
| User | Posted ago | |
|---|---|---|
| Sicaria | 51 weeks 4 days | |
| benevoliste | 51 weeks 4 days |
It's not that bad at all. Maybe, I would have written "so badly in pieces" or "in such pieces", beacuse "so + noun" feels a bit strange to me. However this is music and some kind of poetry so the language can be more inventive. And you also managed to make rhymes and other sound patterns sometimes. Good, I like it.
The verb "auon" has a repetitive sense. I think one option would be "I move my mouth".
Perhaps it's possible to take in pieces as some kind of adverb, and then using so should work. 



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