We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;
yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
but though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
How can a slim chance and a fat be the same,
while a wise man be great and a wise guy a shame?
War will never but ever determine who's right
it will only determine who's left at the fight
Speaking english is fun and the people so swell
having noses that run and feet that can smell
hope you liked the pun and your heart didn't swell
Can I post a video like this?
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.
If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
But when I wind up this observation,
Joke - The pearly gates renovation
St Peter wants to renovate the pearly gates so he asks the souls for skilled workmen that are up to the task.
Three guys show up a chinese, a german and a greek, and St.Peter gives them a 3day deadline to tender their proposals.
The first one to come was the Chinese guy who asked for €1,000 and described how he’d plaster and paint the gates.
The second one to come was the German who asked for €10,000 and he produced elaborate plans and down to the last cent estimates on how he’d refurbish the gates completely, and St.Peter was quite impressed and ready to give him the job but he decided to wait till the deadline for the greek too.
So came the greek and asked for €100,000 without any other explanation. St.Peter fell off his chair and asked him in deep astonishment and confusion:
- Do you expect to get the job with such an at least ridiculous offer? You know the chinese bid me €1,000 for a fine job, and the german €10,000 for making the pearly gates even more magnificent they’re now, and you’re asking for heaven’s shake €100,000 and without any account or shame?
So the audacious greek answered:
- It’s pretty simple if you come and think of it more practically, but don’t worry I’m going to break it down for you in simple terms to catch on. First I'll tip the german €10,000 to withdraw his tender. Then I'll pay the chinese €1,000 to do the job. And last but not least I’ll grease your holy palms with €50,000 to win the tender so that we'll all be blessed.