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Translation
Scars
[Job center agent:]
"I think you have already tried every single kind of job in the world.
You've always failed miserably!
Sometimes I ask myself if your stupid actions are done on purpose?
And despite of it all you keep starting all over again!
What benefit do you think you get out of this?"
Umm, ummm, ummm, ummm
Yes, I know, I was an English teacher, a ghost hunter,
An entertainer, a palanquin carrier.
I was a judo fighter, a submarine cox, a doctor for air traffic controllers, a wholesaler for chairs,
A female receptionist, a caster (umm)
A tank truck driver, a painter of maps, a counselor for anglers (ha!)
I was in the military, a coroner, Angela Merkel's third lover,
I was the minister of transport in China, a dancing bear crotch tattoer
(in a clinch!)
It all went wrong, but that was exactly the plan.
Let's go back to riding the highway on a pushbike!
To be a chick magnet you need to have experience. (come on, experience!)
Hurt children are more likely to get chocolate!
[Chorus:]
I'm lacking a couple of thumbs.
I make a book out of this subject.
There's a spear in my abdomen.
I get interviewed.
There's a skidmark on my head.
The girl is listening to me.
If you want to have her,
You need to have scars!
If you want to have her,
You need to have scars!
(Yeah!)
I was a carpenter of board games, a cabman, Jet-Li's master,
A director of a towing service,
A web designer, a writer of wanted posters, a Pepsi-Light-vendor, a fleabag jockey,
An adrenalin sportsman, a minister, an AIDS-researcher, a reporter, a skateboarder
A safeorder, a gay porn star, a computer game tester,
A baker in a school's kitchen
A boss of flying machines, a wanted war criminal,
A copywriter for book chapters.
I was always fired on short notice, or beaten up in front of the bosses.
I accept that with a smile, because my plan works out!
All of a sudden her attention level rises.
Every bruise is good for a story.
So keep on eating broken glass!
[Chorus]
And I am steering the airplane.
Everybody dies.
You are a stowaway.
I am a blind pilot.
They call me: "Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
I say nothing. I'm obliged to medical confidentiality.
And again:
Everybody dies.
You are a stowaway.
I am a blind pilot.
They call me: "Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
I say nothing. I'm obliged to medical confidentiality.
"YOU ARE FIRED!!!"
Such a pity! (hahahahaha!)
[Chorus]
If you want to have her, you need to have scars!
If you want to have her, you need to have scars!
If you want to have her, you need to have scars!
If you want to have her, you need to have ... (yeah) scars!
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Submitted by 
Freigeist on 2016-12-18
Freigeist on 2016-12-18Last edited by Freigeist on 2020-07-15
Freigeist on 2020-07-15✕
Alligatoah: Top 3
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Ceterum censeo Moscuam esse delendam