To Let Go [ Otpustit (Отпустить) ]

Proofreading requested
English translation

To Let Go

I'm suffocating in the darkness
For it seemed to me that I'm the one
Of those who hold the heart locked
And there is absolute emptiness inside
To disregard
The one who shared a bed with me
Not to fall in love and not to make others fall in love with you
Not to suffer anymore
I ran away from love, like from a disease
Not allowing anyone to come too close to me
And, not noticing that I'm flying over the abyss
I fell down to the very bottom
I crashed into pieces in one second
Understood, what does he mean to me
When suddenly he released my hand
And embraced me goodbye, before leaving
 
Tell me, why I can't live without you
And how can I, being in love, let you go?
Light is becoming darkness, my peace is ruined
How can I, being in love, let you go?
 
And the world around me freezed
My soul freezed, getting numb
And this hopeless darkness
Hid a light of the Sun from my eyes
And I'm looking silently after you
I'm just trying to understand
 
How did you manage, how did you do this in time
To take the heart so insensibly
And, looking inside my reflection
I'm looking for the answer inside my own eyes
"Ho could you lose?
And how to turn everywhere back now?"
Now I see - you weren't my friend
But I got it far too late,
When you suddenly released my hand
And embraced me goodbye, before leaving
 
Tell me, why I can't live without you
And how can I, being in love, let you go?
Light is becoming darkness, my peace is ruined
How can I, being in love, let you go?
 
To let you go, to let you go
To let you go, to let you go
 
Explain me, why I can't live without you
And how can I, being in love, let you go?
Light is becoming darkness, my peace is ruined
How can I, being in love, let you go?
Explain me, why I can't live without you
And how can I, being in love, let you go?
Light is becoming darkness, my peace is ruined
How can I, being in love, let you go?
 
Please don't hesitate to correct me, especially if the translation language is your native language.
With Best Regards,
© Alexander Laskavtsev
Submitted by Alexander Laskavtsev on Tue, 20/06/2017 - 12:30
Added in reply to request by Bryan C.
The author of translation requested proofreading.
It means that he/she will be happy to receive corrections, suggestions etc about the translation.
If you are proficient in both languages of the language pair, you are welcome to leave your comments.
Russian

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Comments
petit élève    Tue, 20/06/2017 - 14:06

The girl could be rather cute, even touching. Too bad she tries so hard to be sexy, that just makes her look like another common pop chick.
As far as my Russian allows me to judge, the lyrics are nicely written, with a more formal language than most pop songs. I think that makes them not so easy to translate.

Infinitives are better rendred by present participles in English : "letting go".
"let go" would sound like an imperative, and "to let go" like a dictionary entry :).

Ведь мне казалось, я из тех что держат сердце на замке -> "yet I thought I was one to keep my heart locked (and, in this absolute emptiness, disregard those who shared my bed)" sounds more idiomatic to me, or "one of those who keep [...] their bed" if you want to stay closer to the Russian

Not to fall in love and not to make others fall in love with you -> you're missing the "чтобы" there
"so as to avoid falling in love or being loved" or something like that ?

that I'm flying -> rather "I was" (time consistency)

Поняв, что он значит для меня / Когда вдруг отпустил он мою руку -> I think a rephrasing would work better here
"to embrace goodbye" is not really said. "hug goodbye" is the closest I can think of.
"just as I realized what he meant to me, he let go of my hand, hugged me goodbye and left" or something like that

Explain me -> would be "explain to me", but I think "tell me" would sound more usual

И как можно, любя отпустить тебя? -> "and how I could let you go while I loved you" or something

становится -> "turns into" is more usual, I think

freezed -> froze. Also "the world froze around me" is a more usual word order.
To reject the werb at the end, i'd rather introduce the emphasis with an adverb, like "the world around me just froze"

Душа застыла, оцепенев -> "my soul got numbed by cold" or "the cold mumbed my soul" to avoid repeating "freeze" ?

a light of the Sun -> why not simply "sunlight" (with no article since it's the light of the sun as a general concept) ?

looking silently after you -> "look after" means "take care of", "watch over". Rather "I follow you with my eyes in silence", or "I watch you leave in silence"

Как удалось тебе, как ты успел -> not sure the "hurry" is so important here.
If not for the repetition, I would translate this as "how did you manage" twice.
"How could you, how did you manage" maybe ?

To take the heart -> my heart. And maybe "capture" would avoid the proximity with "take heart" (regain courage)

looking inside my reflection -> looking at

"Ho could you lose? -> typo, and you are missing the "потерпеть"
"How could you stand to be defeated" or something?
Also I'm not sure the direct speech is the best option : as she starts talking to herself, "you" becomes "her", while it refers to "him" in the rest of the song. I would rather drop the quotes and say "How could I stand to be defeated?"

turn everywhere back -> would be "turn everything back (the way it was)". Not 100% sure you can do without "the way it was", but a native advice would be needed here.

I got it -> The lyrics are using a more formal language, aren't they? "I understood that" maybe?
the suggestion for the rest of the sentence still works here (as/when you hugged me goodye...)