Hello, that's a good translate you did, I am going to tell you what I noticed about your translation ! ^^
line 3 : Terror don’t leave -> doesn't
line 4 : shake is more like "secouer" like used in "shake someone's hand", I think shiver or tremble would be more
line 12 : "This air that I breath is not enough" -> "The air that I breathE" (with the final -e, without it's "le souffle") we can also cancel "that" -> "The air I breathe", this is a regular structure to not use relative subordinate word when the link is obvious between both elements
line 14 : "I may find" -> "I'll find maybe", the french tense is future not conditionnal (I wonder if it's not a fail from the lyricist but this is actually the right lyrics...)
line 18 : you should delete the "?"
line 21 : "Become human" -> becomes
line 23 : bribe = scrap
line 28 : "find the truth." -> "your truth" (ta vérité) even if it's a bit strange, it's an emphatic way to insist on the word
Hope it helps you ! Thanks to translate it for me !
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