Subway to Sally - Traum vom Tod II (English translation)

English translation

Dream of Death II

I have dreamt of Death this night
He stood on all the roads
He waved and he called to me so loudly
He said my life was forfeit
I shall lie down with him
An early grave has long since been
Built for me
 
I ran as far as the land took me
As far as the birds fly
But at my side I felt Death
His shadow followed my trail
I saw him lie with me
And his hands were blood-red
 
There I realised that the wind blows
And rain falls down
Although no rooster cries for me anymore
Because I am long forgotten
No one sings any songs to me
Only weeds grow and bloom on each field
 
I have dreamt of Death this night
There is no eternal life
For men and animals and grass and bushes
And trees
...that was my dream
 
Submitted by Preciouss on Thu, 29/12/2011 - 22:32
Author's comments:

I'm not too happy with my translation of "Da wußte ich es weht der Wind...", there must be something I've overlooked, might be due to the fact that it's past midnight and I'm sleepy... Regular smile Still, any suggestions directed towards improving the translation are welcome.

German

Traum vom Tod II

More translations of "Traum vom Tod II"
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Comments
dunkelheit    Fri, 30/12/2011 - 04:47

'Has long since been' is a bit confusing, and my suggestion is: "There I realized that the wind blows...", although German is not my native Regular smile

Preciouss    Fri, 30/12/2011 - 07:40

German isn't my native either, and your version sounds better, so I'll change it. Regular smile As for the first remark, it's the whole frase - a grave "has long since been built for me", i.e. it's already waiting for me for quite a while. I think it sounds relatively normal in English...

dunkelheit    Fri, 30/12/2011 - 14:15

Maybe it's about how it sounds, you know Regular smile

Preciouss    Fri, 30/12/2011 - 15:48

Well, yes, but it sounds perfectly English to me... The "built" part is les fitting for a grave, although, perhaps I should've put "dug"... but that's the same in German, so I'll stick to the original.

Ice300    Fri, 30/12/2011 - 18:11

I've taken the freedom to change a few lines, it's not exactly in the german word order, but in my opinion it fit's better like this.

I ran as far as the land would take me
As far as the birds would fly
But Death I felt close to my side
Hot on my trail his shadow
I saw him lie next to me
And blood-red were his hands

There I know so blows the wind
and rain falls down like this

Preciouss    Fri, 30/12/2011 - 19:04

I like the way it sounds, I'm just not sure all of it should be changed. It's not that I'm in love with the German word order, I simply think that when translating here - i.e. giving not a poetic translation that would rhyme and everything, but simply translating a song for the band's fans who don't know the original language to understand - we should be faithful to the original as much as possible, as long as it remains in the spirit of the language it's translated to. That way the people reading the translation can not only find out what the songwriter meant to say, but it can be a useful tool for them to help learning the original language. I know things like that were very helpful to me when I was just starting with German...

But I'll still implement some of it. Regular smile

dunkelheit    Fri, 30/12/2011 - 19:23

Eh, everyone translates in different ways.

Ice300    Fri, 30/12/2011 - 20:27

Well so if you don't change it, we've got a poetic and an original translation Regular smile

Preciouss    Fri, 30/12/2011 - 21:36

OK, funnily enough, for some reason, I can't edit the translation anymore, because the original lyrics are no longer visible when I enter edit mode, and I get a message "Source song field is required." :-/

lt    Mon, 02/01/2012 - 16:34
Preciouss wrote:

OK, funnily enough, for some reason, I can't edit the translation anymore, because the original lyrics are no longer visible when I enter edit mode, and I get a message "Source song field is required." :-/

This error has been fixed. We're sorry for the inconvenience.

MayGoLoco    Fri, 30/12/2011 - 22:04

I've already informed the administrators about that error, I hope it'll be fixed soon, sorry for the inconvenience! Regular smile

Preciouss    Sat, 31/12/2011 - 10:39

No problem, thanks! Regular smile