Konstantin Nikolsky - Nochnaya ptitza (Ночная птица) (traducción al Francés)

Revisión solicitada
traducción al Francés

L'oiseau de nuit

De quoi parle la chanson de l'oiseau de nuit
seul dans le silence de l'automne ?
De tout ce qu'il va bientôt quitter
et ne verra plus qu'en rêve.
De ce très long chemin par lequel,
déployant ses ailes, il s'envolera bientôt.
De cette vie qui sans risque n'a pas de sens,
de la vérité qui triomphera de tout.
 
Les chants nocturnes de l'oiseau prophète1
sont venus nourrir mon âme,
et j'ai soudain compris à quel point
il me serait difficile de lui dire adieu.
Voilà que dans la froidure du matin
il lance vers moi un dernier cri.
Chanteur nocturne, je prends ta suite.
Pars tranquille, je finirai ta chanson.
 
  • 1. dans le folklore russe, le chant de certains oiseaux peut révéler l'avenir
This translation does not claim to be of any particular value.
Glad if you liked it, sorry if you didn't.
You can reuse it as you please.
Glad if it's for knowledge or understanding, sorry if it's just for money or fame.
Publicado por petit élève el Dom, 15/10/2017 - 16:58
El autor de esta traducción ha solicitado una revisión.
Esto significa que le alegrará recibir correcciones, sugerencias, etc. sobre la traducción.
Si te manejas bien en ambos idiomas, te invitamos a que dejes tus comentarios.
Ruso

Nochnaya ptitza (Ночная птица)

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Comentarios
St. Sol    Lun, 16/10/2017 - 01:22

This song is classic and deserves a proper translation. Few notes:
1. "правда" here means only "truth/verity"
2. "вещая птица" == prophetic bird; an association/allusion to Russian legends where magical birds could speak and predict someone's destiny
Regards.

petit élève    Lun, 16/10/2017 - 01:52

Thanks a lot. I knew I had missed the "prophetic bird" and my joke about the Pravda was out of line. I'll fix that right away.

petit élève    Lun, 16/10/2017 - 02:01

Btw. could you just check my understanding of " Холодным утром крик последний / Лишь бросит в сторону мою" ?

word for word : "on a cold morning [the bird] utters a last cry in my direction" or something ?

St. Sol    Lun, 16/10/2017 - 02:11

Almost right: On a cold morning [the bird] will only throw/cast a last cry in my direction.

petit élève    Lun, 16/10/2017 - 02:21

This "лишь" is a thorn in my side. I see you can translate it as "only/just", but I'm thinking of two possibilities in French and I'd need to understand it better to pick one.
I think the meaning is more like "just a little thing" ? "this little thing and no more" ? Like if this single little cry was enough to decide the singer to become the successor of the bird ?

St. Sol    Lun, 16/10/2017 - 02:33

Here "лишь" means "just this [thing] is all I am going to get from you [the bird]", expressing singer's regret that the bird is leaving.
Here "наследник" means "a [spiritual] heir" and it has nothing to do with previous line; it is more like a wish:
Fly away [so be it], I will be your spiritual heir and will finish your song [for you].

petit élève    Lun, 16/10/2017 - 02:35

Nice! That's crystal clear.
Hopefully that will iron out the last major bug.
Don't hesitate to make more remarks if you see anything wrong.

petit élève    Lun, 16/10/2017 - 06:34

I'm listening to the one about the musician right now.
That sounds nice, and incredibly enough I think I got more than 50% of the lyrics just by staring at them Regular smile

petit élève    Lun, 16/10/2017 - 06:56

I'm struggling with the second to last stanza. Could you sketch me out what it says in English, so that I could get my bearings a bit quicker ?

The English translation sounds OK but I can't really link it to the Russian

petit élève    Lun, 16/10/2017 - 07:10

Устала скрипка, хоть кого состарят боль и страх
Устал скрипач, хлебнул вина, лишь горечь на губах.

I'm just guessing what these two lines mean.

"the violin got tired. Anyone would get old from all this pain and fear
The violonist got tired. He drank some wine but that only left bitterness on his lips"

I suppose that's ridiculously far from what is really meant, but that's the best I can do.

petit élève    Lun, 16/10/2017 - 13:26

The English translation seemed OK to me for all the bits I thought I understood, so I tended to trust it. But these two lines are rendered rather differently :

The violin is jaded - who would not - from fear and pain?
The violinist sipped the wine – it’s hard to entertain

What do you think? Just two possible interpretations, or is there something wrong somewhere?