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  • Tudor Arghezi

    De-abia plecaseşi → traducción al Inglés

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De-abia plecaseşi

De-abia plecaseşi. Te-am rugat să pleci.
Te urmăream de-a lungul molatecii poteci,
Pân-ai pierit, la capăt, prin trifoi.
Nu te-ai uitat o dată înapoi!
 
Ţi-aş fi făcut un semn, după plecare,
Dar ce-i un semn din umbră-n depărtare?
 
Voiam să pleci, voiam şi să rămâi.
Ai ascultat de gândul ce-l dintâi.
Nu te oprise gândul fără glas.
De ce-ai plecat? De ce-ai mai fï rămas?
 
Traducción

You Had Just Gone Away

You had just gone away. I begged you to.
Alongside that sweetly footpath I was watching you,
'Till at last you perished in the clover.
Not once did you look over your shoulder.
 
I would have beckoned you back, after you left,
But what is a wave from afar but bereft?
 
I wished you gone, I also wished you'd stay.
It was the first thought you chose to obey.
It didn't hold you back, that thought contained.
Why did you go? Why would you have remained?
 
Tudor Arghezi: 3 más populares
Comentarios
Valeriu RautValeriu Raut
   Jue, 05/01/2017 - 18:28
5

Dragå Nadia, te felicit pentru curaj si pentru reusitå.
Ai fåcut ca traducerea foarte grea så rimeze pe englezeste.

sandringsandring    Jue, 05/01/2017 - 18:49

I'm sorry, Vale, I can't agree with this rating. A five star translation implies that you don't have to know the original to get all the nuances. In this translation grammar is questionable, some lines don't make sense ("But what is a wave from afar but bereft?") And this "Till at last you perished in the clover." Was he a soldier who was killed in the clover? I wish I could come up with suggestions but for this I'll have to learn Romanian. I guess you, Vale, could be able to help Nadia with necessary corrections :)

Valeriu RautValeriu Raut
   Jue, 05/01/2017 - 19:57

I understand you 'sandring' - and I have noticed the inaccuracies.
The translator has sacrificed the grammatical correctness for the rhymes.
Yes, the translation can be improved.

sandringsandring    Jue, 05/01/2017 - 20:26

But why didn't you do the other way round? Corrections than rating. Bad grammar can't be justified by rhyme, I'm sorry. Besides, "You have just gone away" instead of "You had just gone away" doesn't interfere with the rhyme or meter, does it? :(

Valeriu RautValeriu Raut
   Vie, 06/01/2017 - 08:45

Because the correct Romanian translation is: You had just gone away