Departure

Alemán

Fortgang

Welch gramvoll Pein
verwies mich meinen Pfaden,
als morgendunstge Schwaden,
noch ruhten im verschneiten Hain.

In weit erstarrter Heide,
lang schwand die alte Leite,
wohin noch schweifet der Blick,
führt kein Umkehr zurück.

Überwunden ist nun Dunkelheit,
nach langem Weg in Einsamkeit.
Von unberührtem Stege
folget leis und dicht -
des Mondes fahles Licht,
zum Ende alter Wege.

 Intentar alinear
Inglés

Departure

What grieve-stricken agony
Expelled me from my paths
When early-morning-hazelike billows
Were still resting in the snow-covered grove.
In far ossified moor
The old mountainside faded for a long time
Wherever the look is wandering
There's no going back.
Darkness is surmounted now
After a long way in solitude.
From pristine landing stage
Follows gently and closely -
The moon's pale light
To the end of old ways

Publicado por Valant el Vie, 12/08/2011 - 14:14
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Sciera2 años 10 semanas
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Comentarios
Sciera     Junio 6th, 2012

"Fortgang"
->
"departure" (wordly "the going away")
(it could also mean "Forward March" or "progress" but in that context here I didn't even think of that meaning at all before reading your translation)

"noch ruhten im verschneiten Hain."
->
"Were still resting in the snow-covered grove."

"führt kein Umkehr zurück."
-> "There no turning back will lead back"

"zum Ende alter Wege."
->
"To the end of old ways"
(it's very likely that your translation here is right but the german lyrics are wrong. sadly I don't own the booklet)

Valant     Junio 9th, 2012

Hey Sciera, thanks for your suggestions!
You're probably right, that departure is more appropriate here. The second correction is absolutely correct, very bad mistake - makes me doubting my English knowledge. ;P Your third correction sounds a bit clumsy to me, I prefer my translation here, since it still conveys the meaning imo. The 4th point will be corrected as well, of course.

Sciera     Junio 10th, 2012

No prob ^^ I'm aware that the third translation is clumsy, I just tried to show the exact meaning of it. Also the way this line is written in german is very unconventional and sounds strange - that's propably due to the fact that it shall sound old-fashioned.