Help in Translating アレセイア (Aletheia) by eufonius

Novice Visual Novel Gamer
Slika korisnika DeltaMoe
Pridružio se: 21/01/2012
Korisnik je odjavljan. Zadnji put viđen prije2 godine 8 tjedana

Yo! Please help me translate the song "アレセイア (Aletheia) by eufonius" cause I need it badly. (rush)

I am making a video about it (From its origin game: Irotoridori no Sekai by Favourite)

Link:
(http://lyricstranslate.com/en/request/%E3%82%A2%E3%83%AC%E3%82%BB%E3%82%...)

Partial Lyrics: (Original OP)
(From StaircaseSubs)

{Format:}
- Romanji (Text)
- English (Text)

tozasareta kono kioku wo, tashikameru you ni tsunaide
"Connected as if were trying to ascertain these sealed up memories,"

atarashiku kizanda, mirai to kako no shunkan wo, issho ni mitsumeteru
"We gazed at this newly-engraved moments of the past and the future"

wasurerarenai towa no yakusoku ha, kono sekai de ima mo azayaka ni
"The eternal promise that I'm unable to forget remains vivid in this world"

kiseki nara mou me no mae ni aru,
"If it's a miracle you seek, it is already in front of you"

futatabi deaeta kara
"for we to be able to meet once more"

sora wo mau hane ni yume wo nosete
"Send our dreams on feathers fluttering in the sky"

futari dake no areseia, doko ni datte tobitateru yo
"The Aletheia for us alone to fly anywhere"

kagayaiteru sono kizuna wo idaite
"Embrace those radiating bonds"

Romanji Source:
http://awesmoe.wordpress.com/2011/11/07/lyrics-eufonius-aletheia/#kimi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once again, Thanks for those who can help me ^_^
I hope the info I posted here will help. click the link above to view the full lyrics and video/music.

Member
Slika korisnika JunjouLover
Pridružio se: 22/12/2010
Korisnik je odjavljan. Zadnji put viđen prije31 tjedan 3 dana

Okey-dokes. I translated it. Please let me know if you have any questions or doubts. I'd be glad to respond to them.

Novice Visual Novel Gamer
Slika korisnika DeltaMoe
Pridružio se: 21/01/2012
Korisnik je odjavljan. Zadnji put viđen prije2 godine 8 tjedana

yep, I found some lines that is quite "uncomfortable" to me.
Hmm.. Oh yeah, it's also my problem whether to translate it by line or by the whole stanza.. Like this:

閉ざされたこの記憶を ]
確かめるように繋いで ] ---- line by line

or

閉ざされたこの記憶を 確かめるように繋いで ] --- the whole stanza

It gives different meaning though XD

"Review on lyrics"

On the first :
"In order to make sure of these memories
Shut away, connecting..."
I think I found this line quite weird
(seems that "Shut away, connecting..." I think Shut Away can be replaced with a better phrase? like concealed or closed )

Next is the "Embracing those shining chains"
Can there be another meaning for that? (I think I quite doubt it)

Oh, here:

君が生きて行く理由ならば
私がずっと作り出すから

If you want a reason for why you go on living
It's because I always create it

I think the "It's because I always create it"
needs improvement

I see other more doubtful lines/words but I cant do much of it since I'm not too good with translating and stuffs,.. (I mostly rely of Translation engine)

But You did a great work and I wanted to thank you for your time translating ^_^

Though I guess it needs a little improvement?

Member
Slika korisnika JunjouLover
Pridružio se: 22/12/2010
Korisnik je odjavljan. Zadnji put viđen prije31 tjedan 3 dana

Hahaha, yeah, I totally get what you're saying. For that exact reason I have a lot of doubts. I sometimes question whether it's just the natural ambiguity of the language, or my own unfamiliarity with it (I tend to think it's the latter Tongue).

One thing to look for in these two stanzas, is I interpreted the phrase 新しく刻んだ未来と過去の瞬間を as being "shared." That is to say, I think a good translation might be:

Connecting/(We connect) the moments of the newly-etched future and past in order to make sure of these sealed away memories (and)

Together (we) watch the moments of the newly-etched future and past

Strange.

"Shut away" is supposed to be modifying "memories," but I wasn't sure whether to put "shut away memories" or "memories shut away." I'll definitely change the order, and I think I'll just change "shut away" to the phrase you had suggested "sealed away."

As for "embracing those shining chains," the only thing that you might want to look into is how to translate 抱く. "Embrace," "hug," "hold," "carry," etc.

私がずっと作り出すから is the phrase that's giving me a lot of trouble here. It's very vague, and I'm not sure even what it's trying to say. In the end, I believe it means, "I always give you a reason to go on living," but that's not how it's expressed exactly.

Anyway, I'm still a newbie when it comes to Japanese translating, so thank you for giving me some things to look at.

Novice Visual Novel Gamer
Slika korisnika DeltaMoe
Pridružio se: 21/01/2012
Korisnik je odjavljan. Zadnji put viđen prije2 godine 8 tjedana

Yeah! XD
and
No prob ^_^

by the way, did you view/hear the music of that lyrics?
I guess it might help you interpret the song/ translate the lyrics ?

Just finished the Video and The only thing I need is the eng sub (but its ok, gonna put it on later when available)

Finished Video:

Thanks again for the Fast Reply! ^_^

Novice Visual Novel Gamer
Slika korisnika DeltaMoe
Pridružio se: 21/01/2012
Korisnik je odjavljan. Zadnji put viđen prije2 godine 8 tjedana

I asked a help from one of my friend and we bainstormed the lyrics and here's what we get:

This memories that connects us
is being sealed away

This moments of
of a newly-carved past and the future
as we gaze at it together

The never-ending promise that I can't forget
Still remains vividly in this world even now

if its a miracle you see, it is already in front of you
for us to be able to meet once more

Send our dreams on feathers fluttering in the sky
On our own, Aletheia

We can fly off anywhere
Embracing those radiating bonds

Will this memories that slowly fade
lead us in days far from today

My heart deep inside
was awaken by a subtle voice
I want to convey it all to you

If you want a reason to live
then go with me and let's create a new one

If you want a miracle, its always beside you
because we took each other's hand
When we looked up in the feathers that dance in the sky
as our hearts raced, Aletheia

No matter where I go, as long as I'm with you
I'll never lose my way, even into the dark

Because of the light we asked and had given to each other
now all the pain melted away
As you felt the feathers flying in the sky
on our own, Aletheia

We can fly away anywhere
Embracing those radiating bonds
Both of us, will be together forever...

_________________________________________________
We used the Staircase and your translation (JunjouLover)
We changed some phrase and some left untouched.

is it ok or does it need adjustment?

Member
Slika korisnika kota
Pridružio se: 19/03/2011
Korisnik je odjavljan. Zadnji put viđen prije2 tjedna 1 dan

This is how I interpret this song. What an incomprehensible song.

(1)
Unsealing our memories,
And splicing them carefully,

We make tick afresh
Moments of the future and the past
Before the very our eyes.

Our promise is unforgettable and unbreakable,
So still fully alive in this world.

Let's witness this genuine miracle:
Something has brought us together again.
When our dreams ride on the wings high in the sky,
There'll be only you and me in Aletheia.

And then we can fly anywhere
With this shining bond in our arms.

(2)
These fading memories
Remind us of our days gone by.

Your gentle warmth
Made me recognize my inner voice.
I want you to listen to it all.

If you were not to see any reason to live,
I'll be there to give it to you.

Beside you there'll be always a miracle,
Now that we go along hand in hand.
When we look up at the wings high in the sky,
Our hearts start to race, in Aletheia.

If I'm with you, I can go anywhere,
Even into the darkness, without getting lost.

Like two rays of light attracted to each other,
We'll go together healing our pain.
Because you just touched the wings high in the sky,
There'll be only you and me in Aletheia.

And then we can fly anywhere
With this shining bond
In our arms, forever and ever.

Novice Visual Novel Gamer
Slika korisnika DeltaMoe
Pridružio se: 21/01/2012
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now I'm really confused XD

Senior Member
Slika korisnika Befrienderer
Pridružio se: 24/09/2010
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I guess I'll throw in my 2 cents.

閉ざされたこの記憶を 確かめるように繋いで

I agree with Junjou, in this sentence 閉ざされた is modifying 記憶. I'd translate something like: "locked-away memories"
The second part is also modifying 記憶. Taken all together I would translate it something like this:
"In order to validate these locked-away memories we connect them together."

君が生きて行く理由ならば
私がずっと作り出すから
I agree with you guys on the meaning.
For me 作り出すから has a feeling of immediacy or urgency. In this case, the person is creating a reason upon request.
I'd translate it like this:
"If you need a reason to continue living
I will always give you one"

どこにだって飛び立てるよ
輝いてるその絆を
二人でいつまでも抱いて

絆 means connection rather than chain, like a connection between people. To me, the meaning of this stanza is basically, "as long as we stay together we can go anywhere"
That being said, my translation would be:
"We can fly anywhere
Always holding onto
this shining bond"

If this was helpful I can go over the whole song in more detail, kinda short on time right now -_-;;