banana.nikitina
Kedd, 04/09/2012 - 21:42
you're welcome! rate me please ;)
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Proofreading requested
Eredeti dalszöveg
В ритме Петербурга
Снова Невский проспект прогоняет желание сна.
На какой-то момент я на грани схожденья с ума…
Я незримая мышь в карнавале рекламных огней.
Ты красиво молчишь, не считая ни денег, ни дней.
Бьётся в окна кафе ослепительно черная ночь,
Жар больных фонарей, им, наверно, ничем не помочь…
Лихорадочен сон и обманчив недолгий покой.
Я хочу в подворотню, где снег, озаренный луной.
Я в ритме Петербурга…
Ведь я в ритме Петербурга…
Непременно нырнем в эту вечность, в ее черноту,
Самым длинным путём постоим на чугунном мосту.
Безымянный святой мимо нас безмятежно пройдет.
Он художник, он бродит и пишет всю ночь напролет…
Пишет серую зиму, пишет, пишет…
Пишет свет фонарей, подворотен трясину, пишет, пишет…
И нас неприкаянных в ней…
Я в ритме Петербурга…
Ведь я в ритме Петербурга…
Fordítás
In the Rhythm of St.-Petersburg
Yet again, the Nevski Avenue chases away all desire to sleep.
At one point I'm on the verge of going insane...
I'm a subtle mouse at this carnival of the billboard lights.
You're beautifully silent, not counting money or days.
The blindingly dark night knocks on the windows of a cafe,
Heat of the sick city lights, they probably can't be helped...
Feverish dreams and deceptive meager repose.
I long to be out in the street, where the snow is lit by the moon.
I'm in the rhythm of St.-Petersburg...
Really, I'm in the rhythm of St.-Petersburg...
Surely we'll dive into this eternity, into its darkness,
In the longest path, we'll stand on the cast-iron bridge.
A nameless saint will serenely pass us.
He's a painter, he wonders and paints through the night...
He paints the gray winter, he paints, he paints...
He paints the ablaze of the street lights, bogs of gates, he paints, he paints...
And us restless in it...
I'm in the rhythm of St.-Petersburg...
Really, I'm in the rhythm of St.-Petersburg...
The author of translation requested proofreading.
It means that he/she will be happy to receive corrections, suggestions etc about the translation.
If you are proficient in both languages of the language pair, you are welcome to leave your comments.
It means that he/she will be happy to receive corrections, suggestions etc about the translation.
If you are proficient in both languages of the language pair, you are welcome to leave your comments.
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Mir Ognya: Top 3
| 1. | Ветер мой друг (Veter moy drug) |
| 2. | Хиппи (Khippi) |
| 3. | Там, где я не был (Tam, gde a ne byl) |
Hozzászólások
banana.nikitina
Kedd, 04/09/2012 - 21:42
banana.nikitina
Kedd, 04/09/2012 - 21:45
thanks, yeah "blaze" is probably better :)
but I'm not actually a fan of "and us too, restless in it"
I like it more how I wrote it. It kind of leaves you hanging, I think that's what the original text indented. :)
banana.nikitina
Szerda, 05/09/2012 - 00:18
well thank you for that.
Treugol'ny
Kedd, 28/07/2015 - 01:29
"Serenely pass us" may be it's grammatically correct but I live in the English speaking country and I doubt anybody here would put it this way. I would go for: " Walk by us " or simply "walk by" . Also "bog of gates" rather then "Bogs" Трясина ворот не имеет смысла. Я думаю что лучше написать " gateway" It's make more sense then "gates" and also it's more resembles the Russian word "подворотня"
Kind Regards
Anatoli
Oroszország gyalázatos háborút folytat Ukrajna ellen. Állj ki Ukrajnával!
A fordítóról
:)