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Salió de Jamaica

Salió de Jamaica,
rumbo a Nueva York,
un barco velero,
un barco velero cargado de ron.
 
En medio del mar
el barco se hundió,
la culpa la tuvo
el señor capitán que se emborrachó.
 
No siento el barco,
no siento el barco que se perdió,
siento el piloto,
siento el piloto y la tripulación.
 
Pobres marinos,
pobres pedazos de corazón
que la mar brava,
que la mar brava se los tragó.
 
Señor capitán
déjeme subir
a izar la bandera
del palo más alto de su bergantín.
 
Que quiero mirar
del palo mayor
si en el puerto se halla,
si en el puerto se halla
esperando mi amor.
~ ~ ~
No siento el barco,
no siento el barco que se perdió,
siento el piloto,
siento el piloto y la tripulación.
 
Pobres marinos,
pobres pedazos de corazón
que la mar brava,
que la mar brava se los tragó.
 
Señor capitán
déjeme subir
a izar la bandera
del palo más alto de su bergantín.
 
Que quiero mirar
del palo mayor
si en el puerto se halla,
si en el puerto se halla
esperando mi amor.
 
Fordítás

He left Jamaica

He left Jamaica,
heading towards New York,
on a sailboat,
on a sailboat,
loaded with rum.
 
At sea,
the sailboat sank into the sea,
the one to blame
was the captain who got drunk.
 
I can't feel the sailboat,
I can't feel the lost sailboat,
But, I can feel the Captain,
I can feel the Captain and the crew
 
Poor sailors,
poor hearts,
which were swallowed
by the treacherous waters
 
Sir Captain,
let me go up
to raise the flag
'from the highest mast of your Brigatine
 
I want to look from
the mainmast,
if she is at Port,
if she is at Port.
Waiting for my love.
 
I can't feel the sailboat,
I can't feel the lost sailboat,
But, I can feel the Captain,
I can feel the Captain and the crew
 
Poor sailors,
poor hearts,
which were swallowed
by the treacherous waters
 
Sir Captain,
let me go up
to raise the flag
'from the highest mast of your Brigatine
 
I want to look from
the mainmast,
if she is at Port,
if she is at Port.
Waiting for my love.
 
Hozzászólások
Valeriu RautValeriu Raut
   Szombat, 18/08/2012 - 13:05

Thank you for the translation of the habanera SALIó de JAMAICA.
You will have my comments later.
Vale
Stockholm

Vimto12Vimto12    Szombat, 18/08/2012 - 13:46

Ok, here are some suggestions for you:
Verse 1, line 2: 'setting off for/heading to/bound for/for/heading towards/en route to New York'
Verse 2, lines 3 + 4: the translation here for me strays from the Spanish...
'the one to blame/the one whose fault it was... Was the captain who got drunk'
Verse 5, line 3: in the context of boats etc 'to raise the flag' is used
Verse 6, lines 1 + 2: 'I want to look from the mainmast'
Verse 6, lines 3 + 4: I think you can say 'in port' but I think 'at port' is more commonly used
:)

dowlenon1dowlenon1
   Szombat, 18/08/2012 - 14:01

Thank you very much for such nice suggestions, I have fixed the lyrics and added these suggestions.

As for "Verse 2, lines 3 + 4", I just didn't want to literally translate that part, that's why I wrote: "the guilty was the captain", but your translation is great. :)

Vimto12Vimto12    Szombat, 18/08/2012 - 14:47

I'm happy to help :)
I suppose you could say 'the guilty one was the captain' if you want to be less literal. You could also say 'the one at fault was the captain' :)
Just noticed one more thing:
Verse 5, line 4 + Verse 9, line 4: 'from the highest mast of your Brigatine'

dowlenon1dowlenon1
   Szombat, 18/08/2012 - 15:53

Done, thank you again Vimto :)

roster 31roster 31
   Kedd, 28/11/2017 - 18:05

I think the title should be "It left (from) Jamaica". It's talking about the boat.

Arou_Arou_    Szerda, 29/11/2017 - 05:06

Then it could also be "She left Jamaica". ;)

Valeriu RautValeriu Raut
   Szerda, 29/11/2017 - 08:36

It left Jamaica,
heading towards New York,
a sailboat,
a sailboat,
loaded with rum.

Arou_Arou_    Szerda, 29/11/2017 - 15:03

Because in English and some other languages, ships are considered female.

roster 31roster 31
   Szerda, 29/11/2017 - 15:27

In Spanish also, for smaller ones, or if it says "la nave". Still it is a boat, not a person, and if you say 'she' the readers will think it refers to his girl friend, the one he wants to see "from the mainmast".

Thank you for your answer.

Arou_Arou_    Csütörtök, 30/11/2017 - 07:50

Well, I think if you translate the first stanza like Valeriu suggested, but with "She" instead of "It", then it will still clearly refer to a sailboat.
But do as you please... My knowledge in Spanish is much much too poor to give any general advice in translation matters. Good luck! :)

roster 31roster 31
   Csütörtök, 30/11/2017 - 13:49

It is not my translation, I just suggested the change, and Vale agreed with me.
There is somethiig else:
The interpretation of the first stanza is wrong: "He left Jamaica..... on a sailboat", seems to indicate that somebody (he) left Jamaica when, actually, it was the sailboat. The verse should say, simply, "a boat", not "on a boat".
But, again, it is not my translation, and we don't edit somebody else's work.

(The translation was submitted in 2012, the author may not read all this).

GabriHylianGabriHylian    Csütörtök, 30/11/2017 - 18:56

If the case may be that he would never get to read the comments, then, after a few months from now, I guess, someone should make an updated translation. BUT he hasn't logged in for just 2 months, I've been away for more than that, and I happened to have crossed paths with him before, I suggested a few tweaks in a translation of his and he was very receptive, it was great, and also, he's a moderator, after all, he will probably be back soon =]

roster 31roster 31
   Csütörtök, 30/11/2017 - 23:27

Thank you for the information. Let's hope he comes back.

Arou_Arou_    Csütörtök, 30/11/2017 - 13:51

Ah, then I misunderstood. My mistake. :)