Your translation is very nice! But I learned in the Gothic-l group that the enclitic -uh can be attached to verbs, but not to nouns, so I think that you have to replace those with jah. All the other things look just fine to me. Just some things:
in láikis, what is the stem of laiks? Because I don't think that a dative can have -is.
Something which isn't wrong, but which can be done different:
soei is indeed used in the Gothic Bible, but it is often shortened to sei. It's your personal preference which one you want to use.
Sums is ufarbateiks ist, again not wrong as far as I know, but for objects I think that þis would be more appropriate here then is.
Jah melida in aírizam, I think this would mean something like written in ancestors, the Gothic Bible expresses ago with "faur" + noun. Filu uses the same case as the Greek text when combined with a noun, a genitive. Faur filu jere, could be used for example. I see you keep hairto in the same way, but don't n-stems more often use a instead of o to combine words?
Allos ufar juggos kunnan. When saying we and meaning everyone, both men and female, it's more usual to use the neuter gender to translate, I think that things could be translated as waihts here. So " Waihts ufarjugga sijum kunnan".
O-stems indeed use a to combine words, so liugahrigg is perfect! :)
I'm feeling sure about this one.
Luckily, their songs are short! Elsewise, I wouldn't have been able to finish this. I blame Winter.