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Night of serenade

Night of serenade
you go away sadly
you fade sadly
 
By my balcony
night of serenade
how much it hurts
you hurt my heart
 
Moon that breaks away
over the darkness of my loneliness
Where are you going?
Tell me if tonight
You will go to a serenade
like she did
Who is she with?
 
Tell her that I love her
tell her that I am dying
of waiting so much
I want her to come back now
because serenades
aren´t good
they hurt
they give grief
and one
ends up crying.
 
Testi originali

Noche de ronda

Clicca per vedere il testo originale (Spagnolo)

Agustín Lara: 3 più popolari
Commenti
roster 31roster 31
   Gio, 27/06/2013 - 18:19

I used to sing this song withut thinking. When I came to translated, I was not sure what kind of "ronda" he was talking about, and I didn't translate.
Any way, a couple suggestions:
Join third and fourth verses. I mean, no captal letter to start second stanza. After the first verse, period. Then, cap.
Second stanza, you can leave as is but, actually it says, "How much it hurts..."
Fourth - I think it's "whom'
You know I don't like that "cuz". The original says 'that'
Again, this last verse and the first of the next, should join (the idea, I mean, no cap.)
"And one ends crying".

Bueno, aquí estoy otra vez, sermoneándote. "Don't end up crying".

Yorsh KosherYorsh Kosher
   Gio, 27/06/2013 - 18:26

Gracias por los "sermones" :P. Por cierto, a mi me encanta el "Cuz" ;) y creo que se aplica en esta canción (aunque no diga porque, creo que está explicito)

Gracias :)

roster 31roster 31
   Gio, 27/06/2013 - 19:14

You can say 'because', pero yo diría "that serenades are no good..." because it continues from "Tell her that..."
Y, me imagino, que el resto de mis observaciones lo vas aguardar en tu corazón".

Last line: "One ends up crying"!

(I should have done this translation).

Yorsh KosherYorsh Kosher
   Gio, 27/06/2013 - 19:32

Estas recomendaciones de ahora son tan especiales que las guardaré en mi alma :D

roster 31roster 31
   Ven, 28/06/2013 - 02:24

Yorsh, no quieres hacerme caso. Conozco esta canción de toda la vida y la he cantado siempre. La última línea dice, "y SE ACABA por llorar. Forma impersonal.
El error está en el original en "ACABAN". ¿quién?, digo yo.

I won't bother you again.

Yorsh KosherYorsh Kosher
   Ven, 28/06/2013 - 15:34

Aaaaaaaaaahhhhh. Es que sinceramente no te entendia, por que no habias explicado de una forma correcta :D. Pero ya que te diste a entender, revisé la canción y tienes absoluta razón :D. Obviamente esa palabra cambia todo el significadao de la última estrofa :D. La corregiré y gracias. ;)

PD
Aunque no lo creas, siempre agradezco tus comentarios ;). Pero, repito, si considero que ambos estamos en lo correcto, simplemente dejo la canción tal cual. :D

una de dos piedrasuna de dos piedras    Gio, 24/07/2014 - 07:54

First of all, the title. “Noche de Ronda” has two meanings. It can mean night watchman or night sereneder. (See the Berlitz Spanish/English dictionary.) It doesn’t refer to a certain type of night. What these two meanings have in common is that both the night watchman and the night serenader “make the rounds” at night, one securing the streets, the other serenading under people’s balconies. The title obviously has the second meaning; therefore I would suggest a slight change in the English title to “Night Sereneder.”
Now, the fact that the sereneder “makes the rounds” brings us to the deeper meaning of the song: it is all about “making the rounds.” The song is playing on the idea of three things that “make the rounds”: the night sereneder, the moon which appears to go around the earth every day, and finally his beloved, who “made the rounds” by leaving him and going away. It is not serenades as such that are not good. Rather it is these “rounds.” The sereneder's rounds hurt him and wound his heart. The moon's rounds cause him pain because in his mind he thinks of the moon's making the rounds as being like his beloved's departure. His beloved’s “rounds” especially hurt him because she has abandoned him. It is all these "rounds" that are not good, that do harm, cause pain, end in weeping.
Therefore, line by line I would suggest the following changes: (these suggestions take into account the changes I suggested you make to the transcription.)
Title: Night Sereneder
Verse 1, line 1: Night sereneder
Verse 1, line 2: how sadly you pass (because he is not talking to the night; he is talking to the serenader who is passing by his balcony, quite evidently singing a sad song).
Verse 1, line 3: how sadly you cross (again because he is not talking to the fading night but rather to the serenader who is crossing by his balcony, again quite clearly singing a sad song).
Verse 2, line 2: Night sereneder
Verse 2, line 3: How you hurt me (because Lara wrote “hieres”. See my comment on the song page.)
Verse 3, line 4: How you wound my heart (this is just an editorial suggestion for variety’s sake.)
Verse 3, line 5: You are going on your rounds.
Verse 3, line 7: Who are you with? (Because Lara wrote estás and Miguel sings estás. You can hear him quite clearly in the video. See my comment on the song page. He wants to know who the moon is with because if it is with his beloved, he wants it to tell her some things.)
Verse 4, line 5: Because the rounds
I hope these comments and suggestions have been helpful and have clarified the deep meaning of the song.

Yorsh KosherYorsh Kosher
   Gio, 24/07/2014 - 23:44

wow, esta canción sin lugar a dudas a generado mucha controversia, hahaha. Creo que yo no era el indicado para traducir esta canción, jajajaja :(

una de dos piedrasuna de dos piedras    Ven, 25/07/2014 - 10:43

Jorge,
Well, I wouldn't exactly say that. However, perhaps Rosa was wiser than both of us in not attempting a translation at all. I did one of Lara's own rendition of the song and another of Alejandro's rendition from his third CD (Grandes Exitos......).
But now the question is what to do with the translation now.
Perhaps we could begin with matters of fact rather than opinion.
1. Como me hierre should be changed to como me hieres because Lara wrote it that way and Miguel sings it that way in the video. Also, and this is a matter of opinion, Lara, being the poet that he was, would not have used non-parallel construction in the two lines, como me hieres, como me lastimas mi Corazon.
2. Con quien esta should be changed to Con quien estás because Lara wrote it that way and Luis Miguel sings it that way, as I pointed out twice before. You can hear that s very clearly in the video clip. Also note that estás rhymes with adonde vas in the verse above; esta does not.

Pardon me, but I would just like to add another observation about the translation. In verse 3, lines 4, 5 and 6 you translated the Spanish
Dime si esta noche
Tú te vas de ronda
Como ella se fue
this way:
Tell me if tonight
You will go to a serenade
like she did
Como ella se fue has a very clear meaning; it means as she went away; it doesn't mean or even imply that she went to a serenade. The singer isn't grieving and crying because his beloved went to a serenade, but because she went away and abandoned him.
So you see I think the translation is rather forced in interpreting everything as being about serenading and serenades.
I see a mistake in my comment above. Where I refer to verse 3, line 4 about wounding my heart, the reference should have been to verse 2.
Would you care to have a look at my translation of Agustín Lara's rendition of the song and give me your observations?
Regards,
Gloria