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Rebel

From time to time, on my way to work
I used to notice a man.
He used to wear a warm jacket
And used to suck down beer.
It used to make him extremely happy
To hear the bottle cap ringing on the ground.
His eyes used to weep as he was laughing at people.
 
He used to hang out in the city during the day,
And he used to scare women in the park.
At night, he used to play drum solos
On the edges of ash trays.
He used to draw stupid things
On the backs of houses.
And when he simply didn't feel like it,
He didn't do anything.
 
Rebel - he is already over here,
Rebel - he's got his own faults,
Rebel - he used to stand here,
He used to laugh at all of us.
 
He wasn't here for a long time,
And maybe he is already dead.
All I have left of him
Is his memory.
But when I get mad,
I punch the wall,
I'll buy some cheap beer,
and I'll laugh at everyone.
 
Rebel - he is already over here,
Rebel - he's got his own faults,
Rebel - he used to stand here,
He used to laugh at all of us.
 
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Rebel

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Kabát: 3 più popolari
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Grampa Wild WillyGrampa Wild Willy    Gio, 28/08/2014 - 12:17

These guys are certainly not your ordinary run-of-the-mill band. Just how popular are they?

Like in the song about the rabbits (I'm still giggling about that one), you've got a mix of tenses here. I'm not going to go through this & point out every change I think you should make. You can do it. Since the song starts out talking about something that used to be true, I think you should make everything past tense.

while my way to the work > on my way to work

And boozed beer. > Beer & booze are not the same thing so I think another verb is called for here. You could say simply "drank" but that's kind of boring. Maybe "chugged" would work. Or "guzzled." Or "knocked back." Or "sucked down."

He was extremely happy
When the plug rang on to the ground,
His eyes were weeping as he was laughing at people. >
First, this seems to me like there needs to be another period here, to indicate another sentence. Either you need a period after "ground" which makes the first 2 lines one sentence. Or you need a period after "happy" to make the second 2 lines one sentence. The meaning is slightly different depending on which way you go so I'm relying on you to make that decision. Beyond that, I'm not too sure about a few choices of words here. When you say "plug" are you talking about the "bottle cap" on the beer? I'm not sure if "rang to the ground" is quite right. If it's just a bottle cap, I think I might say "fell on the ground." "Rang" is a bit unexpected here so I'm not going to say 100% it's wrong. If they use the Czech word for "rang" in the song, then I suppose you have to keep it. But ringing is what a bell does so it might be a bit of a stretch to describe a bottle cap falling on the ground that way.

he was scaring > I would say either "scared" or "used to scare."

In nights, > At night,

ash pans. > Do you mean "garbage cans?" If that's true, then I might adjust the line before this to say "play drum solos."

He used to draw all the stupid things
From the back side of houses, >
He used to draw stupid things {or "all kinds of stupid things"}
On the backs of houses,

didn't feel like to, > didn't feel like it,

he is already over here, > This might mean a couple of different things. If it refers to the place where he is (or was) located, then it's fine. But if it means he's gone, then I would say "he is no long there." Or "here." It depends on the Czech. Or another possibility might be "he has finished doing his thing here." It all depends on what the Czech means.

All what left for me is nothing but remembering him. >
We could fix this in a few different ways:
All that is left for me to do is remember him.
All I have left of him is his memory.
All I can do is remember him.
All that remains of him is his memory.
There may be more ways of fixing this.

I'll hit with frist on to the wall, > I'll put my fist into the wall,
Or even simpler: I'll punch the wall,

SlovakiaSlovakia
   Ven, 29/08/2014 - 10:10

Thanks!!

Well I don't belong to those ones who listen to their songs, but yeah, they are still very popular here, even my dad used to listen to them. :D

I made some tense changes, seriously it's too difficult for me... I changed "rang" for "clinked". Can it be like that?

If "a garbage can" is used also in the meaning of a can that you can find on tables in pubs for ash from cigarettes, then yes.

Or it can be just like- "He is already here"? It is certainly in the present tense, also like the next line, it doesn't mean that he is already gone (dead) even though later it's mentioned there, but there it is with "maybe", it means right the opposite, as if he had returned, and to connect it with the next line, he returned with some new faults, I guess.

Else corrected, you are just amazing! :)

Grampa Wild WillyGrampa Wild Willy    Ven, 29/08/2014 - 13:07

way to the work > way to work

I don't think "plug" is the right word. If you are talking about the seal on the beer bottle, it's called a "bottle cap." And I don't think "clink" is significantly different from "rang." If anything, "rang" is more vivid so I would prefer it of the two. But it's just an odd thing to say about something so insignificant as a bottle cap. It just falls on the ground. Next idea. That sort of thing. Come on. You have to fight for your word if you have a good reason. Don't let me push you around. The song is in your language. You certainly know it and I don't.

I see you connected the first two of those three lines as a sentence. So I'm getting the idea that opening the bottle made the guy happy. Maybe it should go like this:
It used to make him extremely happy
To see the bottle cap flipping to the ground.

That passage about scaring women and drum solos seems like there's a missing period in there somewhere. I think it might belong after "park."

Oh. No, "garbage cans" is wrong, then. What you describe is "ash trays." That's even a bit funnier.

He used to draw all the stupid things
From the back side of houses, >
He used to draw stupid things
On the backs of houses.
There's several minor adjustments in wording there. Plus I've added a period.

already dead, > already dead.
It should be a period.

All I left of him > All I have left of him

In the 3 lines starting with "I'll punch," there's nothing wrong with the way it is. But I think it might have more impact if you change each "I'll" to just "I." That makes them all present tense and it just sharpens it up a bit.

So these guys aren't a new band? Are they still recording and giving concerts? How long have they been around?

No, I am not amazing. I am a native English speaker. I can tell when something sounds like what I might say, what anyone whose English is good might say. And when it doesn't sound right. Also, for a time, it was my job to edit computer manuals. So this is vaguely similar. Nothing amazing about it. Plus I'm having fun discovering music from other cultures. It's always good to broaden one's horizons. I'm so glad you're here.

Grampa Wild WillyGrampa Wild Willy    Ven, 29/08/2014 - 13:19

You need to get in the habit of clicking that "proofreading requested" button. Maybe it might attract someone who not only knows English well, but has the great advantage over me of also knowing Czech. I went back over all my translations at one point and made sure I had clicked it. I had missed a few. I also discovered a couple that I thought I had clicked but somehow they weren't any more. I'm not sure how that happens. Anyway, do click that button.

SlovakiaSlovakia
   Sab, 30/08/2014 - 18:32

Oh thanks! :)

What about:
It used to make him extremely happy
To see (or actually hear) the bottle cap ringing on the ground.

Yes, they still give concerts and one of them was doing a jury at a singing competition of Czech-Slovakia. I had to check it in wikipedia, they have been doing music since 1983 till now, so I think they are basically an old band. Their last song is from 2010.

You are amazing not because you are a native English speaker, but because of your helping me. Thanks.
I used to use that button but I stopped since I haven't received any corrections on my translations to English, I can only think of one or two, which I received despite the fact I haven't requested any proofreading. When I see some mistakes in other users' translations, I do correct them even if they haven't reqested it. And by the way, requesting it causes that people who are looking for the translations don't have the possibility to find it via google, I mean they do have, but it isn't that easy as it would be when there is no proofreading requested. I am here to help those ones who want to know the song meanings, and yes, also for improving my language skills. Say, if my translations are too messy, I will start to request it. I can't see if they are understandable enough for someone English speaking, because to me they always seem good and understandable, because I can understand the original lyrics.

Grampa Wild WillyGrampa Wild Willy    Dom, 31/08/2014 - 08:08

Hear the bottle cap ringing on the ground. Yes. That could work.

There is a check box in the Advanced Search dialog on this site for proofreading. If someone is feeling helpful, they would check that box & get a list of songs for which people have requested help. I think that is far more important than boosting our Google hit rate. The search facilities within this site are quite extensive and serve better than anything Google could offer. Still, I found this site when I started noticing that it kept appearing in Google searches I was doing for Spanish songs I wanted to understand. So I'm not sure your worry about Google hits is such a big worry after all.

As for proofreading when it's not requested, yes, I am rude enough to ignore whether it's requested, too. I suppose some people might think their translations are so perfect that nobody could possibly improve them. They might even get upset or insulted if someone offered them help when they didn't ask for it. Oh well. To those people I say, "Get over yourself." I try to click that button all the time. Once in a while I forget and I have gone back to do nothing else to a translation than click the button.

Understanding the original can be a trap. You may understand it but the proof of a translation being understandable to others is to have them read it. If they start asking questions or suggesting changes, then it means you were wrong and it wasn't as understandable as you thought after all. But that's the beauty of this web site. You get free lessons in another language with the added bonus of "meeting" nice people.

SlovakiaSlovakia
   Dom, 31/08/2014 - 16:14

Nonono! I just want to make my translations available for non-Slovak/Czech speakers and to help them..

So, I decided to request it just when I will translate a difficult song, but I will ALWAYS write in the submitter's comment that corrections are welcome.