Hi, Thanks for your help, it's a very nice translation indeed :).
A couple of notes, first, if you can, I would recommend to take a more liberal approach (less literal) to your translation - it would take your translations to the next level :). Not that I'm against literal translations, on the contrary, I think they should complement a more liberal one
Which brings me to the second note, you can use footnote in your text to add the literal meaning, and you should also take some of what you wrote in your Author's comments and move it to footnotes to easily reference specific lines of text. To use footnotes you simply need to add the [ fn ] tag followed by your footnote text and closed with the [ /fn ] tag - all within your translation text next to the line you wish to refer (give it a try - just remove the spaces between the fn tag name and the brackets).
Lastly, your Translation source link doesn't contain a translation but a reference to the text which could go in your Author's comments instead. Adding a Translation source means that you used a an external source for your translation and are referencing it, which is not your case I suppose.
That's it, Welcome to LT, translate away :)