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Zauberstab

Wenn dein Mund lacht, geht in mir die Sonne auf
Mit dieser Zaubermacht weckst du meine Lenden auf
Deinen Augen kann ich mich nicht entzieh'n
In deinen Augen muss ich hoffnungslos verglüh'n
 
Du bist die Schönste aller Hexen
Alles an dir ist reiner Sex
Wenn - ich dich kriege, zeigt dir mein Zauberstab die Liebe
 
Du hast Beine - die Säulen deiner runden Pracht
Deine Beine sind ganz speziell für mich gemacht
Süßer Käfer, dein Sexappeal, der haut mich um
 
Du bist die Schönste aller Hexen
Alles an dir ist reiner Sex
Wenn - ich dich kriege, zeigt dir mein Zauberstab die Liebe
 
Du bist die Schönste aller Hexen ....
 
Wenn dein Mund lacht, geht in mir die Sonne auf
Mit dieser Zaubermacht weckst du meine Lenden auf
Komm und nimm mich, zeig mir deine Eitelkeit
 
Du bist die Schönste aller Hexen ....
 
Du hast Beine - die Säulen deiner runden Pracht
Deine Beine sind ganz speziell für mich gemacht
Süßer Käfer, dein Sexappeal, der haut mich um
 
Du bist die Schönste aller Hexen ....
 
Traduzione

Magic Wand

When you mouth is laughing the sun rising within within me
With your magic power you awaken my loins
I can't escape your eyes
I've got to burn up hopelessly within your eyes
 
You are the most beautiful of all witches
Everything about you is pure sex
If - I get you my magic wand will show you love
 
You have legs - the pillars of your round glory
Your legs are made specially for me
Sweet beetle, your sex appeal, it knocks me flat
 
You are the most beautiful of all witches
Everything about you is pure sex
If - I get you my magic wand will show you love
 
You are the most beautiful of all witches...
 
When you mouth is laughing the sun rising within within me
With your magic power you awaken my loins
Come and take me, show me your vanity
 
You are the most beautiful of all witches...
 
You have legs - the pillars of your round glory
Your legs are made specially for me
Sweet beetle, your sex appeal, it knocks me flat
 
You are the most beautiful of all witches...
 
Oomph!: 3 più popolari
Commenti
ManonManon    Lun, 18/11/2013 - 18:12

Here are my suggestions:

1. Although your version is not wrong, one in English would say "magic wand" rather than "magical wand". Same for "power".

2. When your mouth LAUGHS, the sun rises within me. (agreement of tenses)

3. "If I get you" is obviously not wrong. However, the use of this structure might be a bit ambiguous, as it can have a cluster of connotations, among which "If I catch you". Given this, I believe that a rather free translation would fit better: If I should (ever) have you.

4. Your legs are made SPECIALLY for me. "Especially" means "particularly", or, in German, "vorzugsweise".

5. "To knock out" means "to beat unconscious". Isn't "umhauen" actually supposed to mean something like "to drive crazy", or "to thrill in a strong way" in this context? In this case, you should use either "it blows my mind", or, fairly more exact, "it knocks me flat". As for the tense, I feel that present simple fits better since that line is supposed to express some kind of fact.

ScieraSciera
   Lun, 18/11/2013 - 19:40

Thanks for your suggestions!
I agree with most of them, it's a big help to have a native speaker checking this.

"When your mouth LAUGHS, the sun rises within me."
Okay, I didn't know that. I first wanted to write
"When your mouth is laughing, the sun is rising within me."
Would that be possible, too?

""If I get you" is obviously not wrong. However, the use of this structure might be a bit ambiguous, as it can have a cluster of connotations, among which "If I catch you"."
These connotations are also in the German line, so I'm not sure if "if I get you" really is too ambiguous.

ManonManon    Lun, 18/11/2013 - 20:10

Well, yes, using present continuous in both sentences is okay as well.

Regarding the second matter, I'm not quite sure about which structure would fit best either. Anyways, just stick to the literal version given the fact that those connotations also exist in the German structure.