This girl is right my type. >
Either: This girl is my type.
Or: This girl is just my type.
Or: This girl sure is my type.
The next next three lines need to be broken up into two sentences. I think the best place to break it is here:
towards her. I'm nice enough,
Someone third is coming to us, >
Either: A third person is approaching us
Or: Someone is approaching us
Or: Somebody is coming toward us
Or: Some mixture of those 3 suggestions.
I think you need another sentence break here: and go away now.
They are already beating me up with great power. > This seems to be the central idea of this song but I'm not sure I totally understand it. Who is "they?" And power . . . Does it mean "great force?" Or is it a reference to political power?
that I will end with evil once and for all. >
This could have a couple of different meanings. If he wants to get rid of the evil around him and around the people he is talking to, then you would say either "end evil" or "stop evil" or "get rid of evil," something along those lines. "End with" isn't how you would express these ideas. On the other hand, if he is saying he has been evil and is going to change his ways, then you would say either "I will stop being evil" or "I will leave evil behind" or "I won't be evil any more," something along those lines.
This bit is funny:
Money are evil, so let them give it all to me,
Let them give up for rich granges, cars, villas.
I'll take some, too. But there's a couple of things that need to change:
Money is evil, so let them give it all to me. No response.
hurry up abd go away now, > hurry up and go away now,
I met a man, I said, mate, did you know,
women are just a bother for us. >
This needs some different punctuation, and a sentence break:
I met a man. I said, "Mate, did you know,
women are just a bother?"
Or maybe "a nuisance." Or "more trouble than they are worth."
He took it into his heart and cast her wife out, > He took it to heart and threw his wife out,
And now he has his right hand swollen. > And now his right hand is swollen.
Who is there walking with an axe? > Who is that walking with an axe?
Where I had come, there I hit
I want to keep the last tooth,
I play big beat aloud,
and I immediately hear the bell ringing. >
I'm having a hard time figuring this out. About the only part of this that is clear is, "I want to keep my last tooth." The rest of it just doesn't make sense to me. Is this supposed to be a reference to boxing, with the bell ringing after each round?
with fist anymore. > with their fists any more.
jump off the window. > jump out the window.
I see you're into songs about people beating each other up, this one, the one about the guy who is strong as an ox . . . It's a phase, I'm sure. It will pass. You will recover.
Corrections are welcome!