Russia is waging a disgraceful war on Ukraine.     Stai cu Ucraina!
Acțiune
Marimea fontului
Versuri originale
Swap languages

О, да простит меня Экзюпери!

Печальную Луна бросает тень,
И от весны остались только лужи.
Но знаю, что наступит этот день,
Когда на небесах сольются наши души!
 
Согрей меня неугасающим теплом,
Не покидай в тревожную минуту!
Поверь: я для тебя - надежный дом,
Чьи двери всегда можешь распахнуть ты!
 
Сорви с души ржавеющий замок
И сердце распахни - пусть радость засияет!
Я не пущу чужого на порог,
Пусть мне хоть горы золотые обещает!
 
О, да простит меня Экзюпери -
Не оторвать нам друг от друга взгляда!
И все равно, что ждет нас впереди -
Мы знаем, что навеки будем рядом!
 
Traducere

Forgive Me, Saint-Exupéry [Poetic]

The Moon is casting shades of gloom,
the spring has left behind just puddles.
The day will come, as I presume,
when in the skies our souls will cuddle!
 
Do warm me up by endless heat,
don’t let me drown in anxious moments!
Believe me, I'll be your retreat,
you’re welcome there, no need for omens!
 
Set free your soul from rusty locks,
and flood your heart with joy, elation!
I’ll chase away whoever knocks,
no gold will ever change my station!
 
Forgive me, Saint-Exupéry,
that we can’t look but at each other!
Let all ahead stay mystery –
we’re gonna be together rather!
 
Comentarii
Ivan U7nIvan U7n
   Marţi, 20/02/2018 - 10:55

[@petit élève], I have a French question in a translation from Russian to English for the name is French in origin. ;) How do you pronounce "Saint-Exupéry", I mean the stress? In Russian the last syllable is stressed, but names are unpredictable in French (at least to me).

Ivan U7nIvan U7n
   Marţi, 20/02/2018 - 16:32

Thanks! Google tries to stress the first syllable and it sounds awful, thus the question. But if the last syllable and "Saint" are both stressed, then I haven't messed up much with the rhythm and the rhyme.
By the way, while we are at it, can you make an independent (even if a non-native) review of the resulting poem? I mean the general understandability and grammar, for I can sometimes think so out of the box that I scare myself. ;)

BratBrat    Marţi, 20/02/2018 - 18:09

If I may, I'd want to propose the following:
I’ll let no one pass me inside,->I will let no one pass inside,
that we just can’t our gazes sever!->that we can’t get our gazes severed!
Though the latter is queer enough, I think it is applicable.

And you should revise the first stanza ->casting shades of ....rue / and the day wil come in ... soon.... maybe?

Ivan U7nIvan U7n
   Marţi, 20/02/2018 - 21:32

Thanks, guys, for your input! I have updated it. The only thing I have left as it was is "omen" as this was really my intention: no need for any signs, he is always welcomed there (in the retreat).

Marica NicolskaMarica Nicolska    Vineri, 23/02/2018 - 11:28

Thank you very much, my friends, for your translating! Ivan, you have made me a great pleasure! I had been writing this poem during 17 Years (only imagine it!) And the end stanza came to me only now...
Saint-Exupery said: "Love... it is not the point, that 2 persons can see each other... It seems, that these 2 persons can see the same..." I like Exupery, but in this poem I have supposed some other meaning.
I'm not sure, that my translating is all right. But I don't know french. By the way, can somebody thanslate it in French? Thank you in advance!

Marica NicolskaMarica Nicolska    Joi, 22/03/2018 - 17:32

I beg your pardon, Saint-Exupery!
He is an apple of my eye!
And no matter what would be -
We are together any time!

How do you like this last stanza?

BratBrat    Joi, 22/03/2018 - 17:41

an apple of my eye->the apple of my eye
any time!->all the time!
And the rest is best...