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  • Renan Luce

    Renan Luce

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My Roots

Fă click aici pentru a vedea versurile originale (Franceză)
My roots are deep
They have traversed the depths 1
And perforated the rock
Of a land’s end
They have woven their web
Under a starless sky
And cleaned by the wind
Drawn in front
Oh my peninsula attached
By several aged rocks
I carry a compass
To retrace my steps
A memory of the terrain
When I didn’t walk
 
My roots are alive
As in these arid lands
They search for the next one
When an aquifer runs dry
They force my journey
No matter where or when
My existence toll
“Under 25s card”
The sandwiches eaten on the go
The blacklisted lecture halls
All these words in the mouth
The body like a flint
For as little as you’re touched
The spark that remains
 
And my roots grow
An encounter and then ten
A look and then a hundred
I watch powerlessly
The road that my roots
Follow for tomorrow
 
My roots are resounding
And their echoes oppose
A wave - north cliff -
An airbus - pink town -
My roots are tactile
Recognise by feel
The softness of the pistil
The roughness of the concrete
The smooth skin of the girls
The claws of a kitten
My roots are olfactory
Preciously keeping
The scent of the detergent
In mum’s skirts
 
My foots are “family”
Perhaps not so often
Yet my heart still tingles
The same way
With “Knock knock”s at my wall
“Come sleep with me”
With gathering mulberries
With Cabins in the woods
With holidays all five together
“Sun cream, bucket and spade”
It’s to you that I drink
With the glass well lifted
To the next embrace
I wait for you soon
 
And my roots grow
An encounter and then ten
A look and then a hundred
I watch powerlessly
The road that my roots
Follow for tomorrow
And my roots grow
An encounter and then ten
A look and then a hundred
I watch powerlessly
The road that my roots
Follow for tomorrow
My roots
My roots
My roots
 
  • 1. The deep waters
Versuri originale

Mes racines

Fă click aici pentru a vedea versurile originale (Franceză)

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Renan Luce: Top 3
1.La lettre
2.Les voisines
3.Appelle quand tu te réveilles
Comentarii
FaërielFaëriel    Miercuri, 15/07/2015 - 16:14

Hello :)

Some suggestions about a text which is, in my opinion, not easy to translate, due to its poetic nature... :

El(l)es ont traversé l'onde ---> I think that "onde" is rather waters than depths. Typically a poetic word.

Elles ont tissé leur toile
In French, this expression suggests the work of a spider. So here, "toile" is rather a cobweb.

Ô ma presqu'île accrochée / Par quelques vieux rochers
"accroché" is not surrounded. I think a verb like hooked has a nearer meaning. The stanzas mean that the peninsula is "hooked" to the coast by rocks (old ones ;) ).

Je garde une boussole ---> "Je garde" is "I keep". But you may wish to make no word to word translation...

Souv'nir du ras du sol
I don't think that "souvenir"here is a verb. The meaning is rather something like "memory of the very level of the ground" (I let you of course the task to write it properly ;) )

Quand une nappe est vide
Considering the song's context, I'm quite sure that the "nappe" here has nothing to deal with a tableclothe but with a water table. In these arid lands, his roots are searching for some water...

Les amphis à l'index
Few words but maximum difficulty :)
Les amphis are the lecture halls. À l'index means here blacklisted.

Toujours pareillement ---> Would it be correct in English to say : "Always in the same way" ?

De "Toc toc" ... / De cueillettes ... / De cabanes ... / De vacances ...
De here is a partitive article and doesn't mean "from", but rather "some". I don't really know how to adapt it... "With" perhaps ? (my heart tingles [...] with knock knock, etc...)

8)

GavinGavin
   Joi, 16/07/2015 - 09:52

Marvellous! I was hoping you might stop by with some pointers! :-)

Ok, 1 by 1...

Onde – The depths in English can also imply deep waters so that was the meaning I was aiming for. I think it’s ok.

Toile – Ah yes, web is much better

Ô ma presqu'île accrochée / Par quelques vieux rochers
Thanks, I didn’t understand that at all. But how best to express it? I think ‘attached’ is closest. If I can think of a better, more poetic word I’ll change it

Je garde une boussole – Yes, I considered “keep” but “carry” seems a more likely word to use in English for something that you keep on your person

Souv'nir du ras du sol – Right I see – more like a memory of the terrain at ground level…

Quand une nappe est vide – Good yes, that makes sense, the roots searching for the next source of water

Les amphis à l'index – Great, got it!

Toujours pareillement – Yes.. but now I look at it again do you think it’s more that his heart STILL tingles the same way? Toujours is tricky for Brits…

De "Toc toc" ... / De cueillettes ... / De cabanes ... / De vacances ...
Yes, that’s tricky – it is what I was trying to express with ‘From’ but it’s not elegant…I think you're right; 'with' is better

And a couple of questions:
Les sandwiches sur le pouce – I understand this but can’t imagine what it might mean here, any thoughts?
“Carte moins de vingt cinq ans” – Is this a significant age for any reason?

Thanks again! :-) / Je vous remercie :-)

FaërielFaëriel    Joi, 16/07/2015 - 14:16

Avec plaisir 8)

Quote:

Toujours is tricky for Brits…

And so is still for Frenchies :D

And after looking at it again, I think you are right, still is preferable ;)

Les sandwiches sur le pouce
"Manger quelque chose sur le pouce" (word to word : to eat something on the thumb) in French means to have a quick light and simple meal, generally when you don't have much time.

“Carte moins de vingt cinq ans”
This is a special discount card sold by the SNCF, the French national railway company, for people under 25 yo allowing the youngest to travel with lighter fares. :)

GavinGavin
   Joi, 16/07/2015 - 14:27

Great that makes sense - I've made a couple more fixes - It's shaping up!

:-)

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