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Sepia

my hands are cold while making snow-meanings
let my emotions bloom from the deepest place in me
i am so full that even crying is forceful
not being able to laugh is the simplest way of pain, too much for me
 
would i see if i look outside from my open window
would i die if you touch my face with your small hands
i saw you at the place you were waiting, don't be upset
i want to get close to you but i'm not able to do anything
 
consoling myself in between dream and real, with the medicines
getting tired when your name creeps into my temples
if i sleep from the beginning till the end of september
your peace would fill inside of me, if i hug you a little
 
i don't understand, i don't keep it inside, i missed you
her sun-saturated eyes melt when you look at them
next to me is my blanket that i wrap my dreams in
and my heart bursting, i'm out of breath
 
go to him, embrace your true love
i'm falling off of your lips, stay away from my life
you know i've had too many troubles, i'm suffocated
i made you upset, i'm sorry, you got tired with me
 
nothing happened that i've ever wanted in my life
i only wanted you, but the inside of you wasn't filled with me
in this huge istanbul, could you only find me, woman
i'm a goddamn man, i don't have anyone left by my side
 
don't leave me, not even for a moment, never
forgive me for my selfish request, never leave me
i'm giving you a promise today and losing myself
i will never let you go until this world swallows me
 
we're in autumn, sepia in my eyes
all my feelings have a yellow background and bleeding trees
coming towards me the most poisonous word of the history
in fact, love is as transparent as a glass, you see
 
i wanted to be a season, not a painting
let my name be "cold", i would be warm when you're passing through
i wanted to be with you for life, not for one day
you're the only owner of my soul, i swear
 
mom don't tell anyone that i'm crying
you know i'm shy, i disappear in the darkness
i'm carrying the drowsiness of the night on my shoulders
and then your deep absence, the fact of loneliness
 
take your pity away from me
i'm being kneaded by silence when you're gone
don't let your eyes touch mine when i'm drowning my hopes inside me
let the protein bonds break, and my eyes close
 
my desires are minimal, when i squint my eyes
are all the faces i see pleasant?
love is written on one of the wheels that spin with lies
believe me, i washed this heart with my tears
 
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Sepya

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