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Den som spar han har

Det kan bli snö i junilund
Solen kan runda månens rund
Nu ser jag åtrån i din blick
Sånt kan ge mig en riktig kick
För en gång i tiden önskade jag att
jag skulle va' dig kär
Nu blev det inte som jag hoppats men
Det duger nog så här
 
Nu står jag här och ser på dig
Hade du kärlek kvar åt mig?
Jag trodde ingenting fanns kvar
Men tänk att den som spar han har
 
Såsom en tjuv kom du var natt
Efter att hos nån annan var't
Hur kunde du väl göra så?
Trodde du att det skulle gå?
Att du kunde älska någon annan och
ha mig liksom breve'
Det som man letar efter allra mest
kan ibland va' svårt att se
 
Nu står jag här och ser på dig
Hade du kärlek kvar åt mig?
Jag trodde ingenting fanns kvar
Men tänk att den som spar han har
 
Det som man letar efter allra mest
kan ibland va' svårt att se
 
Det kan bli snö i junilund
Solen kan runda månens rund
Jag trodde ingenting fanns kvar
Men tänk att den som spar han har
 
Ja, tänk att den som spar han har
 
Versuri originale

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Vanessa Williams: Top 3
Comentarii
azucarinhoazucarinho    Luni, 06/04/2015 - 18:58

First stanza: june should be capitalized (see also last stanza)
wish in the fifth line should move to the beginning of line 6
some how in last line should be one word
:-)

Bob Dylanson RecordsBob Dylanson Records
   Luni, 06/04/2015 - 19:08

Det håller jag med om, men det var inte jag som lade upp den engelska texten.
*
I totally agree with you, but I didn't post the English lyrics.

azucarinhoazucarinho    Luni, 06/04/2015 - 19:31

I can't read Swedish but I can see that you kept the rhymes. Very impressive! :-)

azucarinhoazucarinho    Miercuri, 08/04/2015 - 12:22

You're quite right. It might be 'easier' in Swedish though. But I guess I haven't worked hard enough in Dutch... :-(

Bob Dylanson RecordsBob Dylanson Records
   Miercuri, 08/04/2015 - 15:33

Dutch and Swedish are not that different from each other. Many words are very similar. I can understand big parts of your translation, and besides the point that it doesn't rhyme, I'm sure it's very good. But after all, i'ts not particularly hard to translate a text word for word. Anyone could do that. I like a little challenge, so I make my translations both rhyming and singable. Sometimes it means that I use totally different words, but I always try to express the essence of the song.

azucarinhoazucarinho    Miercuri, 08/04/2015 - 15:53

It's what I have done with a song or two (see my Una lacrima sul viso, or the untranslatable Just one of those things, the second stanza of which I am having difficulties with). Those are easy to translate line-by-line, but I did singable versions...
To be sure, it's quite easy (I have seen instances with devastating results) to translate literally, line by line, word for word, but just like you I attempt to catch, as you say, the essence. I have come across 'translations' that are so questionable that I have set out to 'redo' them. I only regret that unless I ask for a revision I don't get any response.

Bob Dylanson RecordsBob Dylanson Records
   Miercuri, 08/04/2015 - 17:15

That's awesome! Keep doing that! You have to admit, it feels better when you put some effort to it. Yeah, there are examples of very questionable translations, and the best thing you could do is to set a good example. And yeah, I don't get any response either, but I'm not very good at giving response either for that matter.

azucarinhoazucarinho    Miercuri, 08/04/2015 - 17:20

... and now for something completely different: See what you make of the wonderful site Librivox.com (I don't know of course whether you are already familiar with it...)