First, to get you interested...
I would give a reward
Rođen pod sretnom zvezdom magičnom,
Ali nad ovom zemljom generalno tragičnom...
One user translated it like this:
Born under the lucky magical star
Yet over this generally tragical country
Another (Adrienne's) suggestion is this:
Born under magical lucky star
But over this country generally tragical
Well... It seems that it's very hard to notice obvious thing that
you can rhyme magical with tragical...
I was born under star which is magical
But in this country, in general, (generally) tragical...
So I'll take the reward in gold that I have offered }:)
And I guess you have to be poetical to rhyme words in any language (English or Slavic)... You can rhyme the whole song mentioned here (with a little effort). Other rhymes are not so obvious and easy to make, but it can be done.
Let's peak into another song of his...
...I don't go to Dositey's Street Anymore...
is the correct translation of
...Više ne prolazim ulicom Dositejevom...
But if we do it for English speakers, why bother them with a name of "Dositey" cause
the name of the street is, actually, of no importance here - the essence is that
it's HER street and he doesn't go there anymore...
I don't pass by her street anymore...
The song cries for rhymes (and offers rhyming) - especially the refrain!
But why interfere in someone else's work, a translation that got 5 stars?
I never protected you
I never caressed you
Never took care of you
I stepped over your love
I never spared you
And I didn't know how to stop and stay
What will become of me
My little angel?
Again, word for word translation, too much of grammar and too little poetry!
Four times repeated: /never/ and /you/... Then, what does this mean:
I numbered everything?
At Balasevic original it means something (svemu smišljao broj) but here - obviously not. You could change it to: I was making things up, I was making excuses... and so on.
If the goal is to present this singer/songwriter (Balasevic) to English speakers,
you should translate his work as closes it can be done to his expressions -
including the rhyming. Presented in that way, songs would have more beauty
and they could be easily remembered. How about some imagination in translation?
And if we are translating his songs "just to see how they'll sound in English" -
(or for similar reasons)... then you're just doing word processing from
one Slavic language to English... It IS English, translated in this literal form,
word for word - but it's not Balasevic's beautiful language, far from that.
You're only showing that you have learned or studied English and that you
did your grammar exercises fair.
There is a big difference betwen literal translation and figurative translation!