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Leave all the same

Leave all the same
 
Leave all the same
while he sleeps on
while he is dreaming
while there’s still time yet for…
Leave all the same
while feeling strong
break free the chains
that bind me to his fate
that would will my own fall
a flower on the wall
 
Leave all the same
before he dreams
of clipping my wings
and so tame my fierce pride
Leave all the same
Be first to go
Exit the stage
with all the strength I’ve got
before saying “I love you”
before the trap clamps down to…
 
Leave all the same
 
A sovereign
of his games
and of my intrigues
Disappear
from his sight
Leaving not a trace
Before I can no longer
retrace my reckless steps
Before it is too late
To avoid any warring
before saying I love you
Know to leave all the same
 
Оригінальний текст

Partir quand même

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Ідіоми з пісні "Partir quand même"
Коментарі
GianMarco.TavazzaniGianMarco.Tavazzani    Ндл, 22/05/2022 - 15:38

If I came here, is because some shades were still obscure to me and this meaningful song deserves to be understood in all its nuances.
And it's just the admiration for this song the gratefulness for your efforts and, for sure, for the same love we share for both Françoise and this song that brings me to try to contribute.
Translations of poetries and lyrics are never banal, there are at least 3 kinds (or 'levels') of translation:
1) the literal translation, absolutely faithful to the original text. Cold.
2) how did the author write the text if its mother language was the one of the translation. Warm.
3) how the author had written the text if its mother language was the one of the translation taking in count the metric, if not even the rime! A MIRACLE!
In this case, your enthusiasm 'of the type 2' brought you to translate "vont faire de moi un poids mort, un objet du décor" in 'that would will my own fall, a flower on the wall!'
Well, a more adherent and accurate translation should be like: "want to make me a ballast, a decoration object" (why a flower? Pure fantasy, imagination, not a translation!).
"before he DREAMS of clipping my wings" Well, "To dream" has in French its own translation and "veuille" means WANT!
"Orgueil" means pride, PERIOD! 'Fierce' is an ADDED… DECORATION which does not belong to the original text!
"[partir] d’abord" means 'first of all', as a priority like "Primum [vivere!]"
"Dans un ultime effort" = 'with the last effort'; no space for any fancy "with all the strength I’ve got" text and meaning SUBSITUTION!
'Referme' has this iterative prefix which REinforces through suggesting that it was open already with the intention to close it AGAIN, as any trap, so "[avant] le piège se referme" should be translated SIMPLY with 'before the trap clamps", leaving alone any addition.
"Rester maître" = 'remain master' (of his games, of my enigmas AND NOT INTRIGUES; this is SICKNESS; English borrowed the ancient Greek word 'enigma' NOT to 'pervert it' in something else: use it and stop!
"ne plus donner signe" means SIMPLY 'give no more signs' (stop showing, communicating anything). 'Leaving not a trace' is not a translation, TELLS ANOTHER STORY!
"avant de ne plus pouvoir revenir en arrière" simply "before I can no longer go back"; 'Before I can no longer retrace my reckless steps' is nice poetry (translation 'type 2') but not accurate.
"To avoid any warring" Why complicate your life by changing what is EVIDENT? And it's EVIDENT that "pour éviter la guerre" means EXACTLY: "to avoid the war"!

petitbalperdupetitbalperdu
   Втр, 22/12/2015 - 04:07

Hello. Thanks for taking the time to comment!

For me, the act of translating involves both fidelity and creativity.

Sometimes the two forces mutually complement one another; sometimes, they are antagonistic. Sometimes it is a question of fidelity to what-- the meaning, the rhythm, the sonority....

It is no doubt easier to find words in Italian that are faithful both to the original meaning in French as well as to its poetic circumstance than it is to find them in English. It has been awhile since I reviewed my translation, and retracing my steps is both an exciting and educative enterprise.

Try to read or sing the English version with the music-- in the case of this translation, I believe fidelity to the song form took precedence at times over fidelity to the literal meaning. It explains the choice of words, sometimes quite liberal and more an evocation of the meaning than an actual literal translation.

some notes:

that would will my own fall, a flower on the wall - "un poids mort" is literally a deadweight, in this case, Françoise feels she would cease to be her own person, and would simply weigh her lover down. the translation to "my own fall" evokes the gravity of transformation to something like a rock that falls over a cliff.

"un objet de décor" -- the key here is object vs subject. a decor object embellishes the background, the setting, of the subject's actions. in English we have the expression "wallflower". someone who is a wallflower is someone who is present at social settings, but by choice or disposition, does not stand out, is rather socially inept. there is the notion of being a social failure.

The French explanation for this English expression highlights the passive (vs. active) element of the term:
L'expression « être une giroflée » (to be a wallflower) signifie usuellement « faire tapisserie » (faire partie du décor, notion d'échec, de non-insertion sociale

before he dreams of clipping my wings - in the sense of "I wouldn't dream of doing something like that" before the idea of taking away the singer's freedom even enters the lover's mind.

"dans un ultime effort" - literally, in a last ditch attempt. but "with all the strength I've got" is more faithful to the sonority of the line and more dignified in English.

and so on and so forth...

or to put it another way, I agree with you in general, but I disagree with you in the particularities.