Впопыхах опять смывался (إلى الإنكليزية ترجم)

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Впопыхах опять смывался

Впопыхах опять смывался,
Мой милёночек Илья.
Муж в накладке не остался:
Вновь прибавилось белья!
 
تم نشره بواسطة St. SolSt. Sol في الأربعاء, 20/03/2019 - 15:49
إلى الإنكليزية ترجم (equirhythmic, rhyming)
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Yet Again My Darling Denny

Yet again my darling Denny
Had to run away undressed.
Hubby didn't lose a penny:
Once more with new briefs he's blessed!
 
© St.Sol @ LT: all rights reserved.
تم نشره بواسطة St. SolSt. Sol في الجمعة, 22/03/2019 - 19:35
تم تعديله آخر مرة بواسطة St. SolSt. Sol في الأحد, 24/03/2019 - 11:54
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تصنيفك: None Average: 5 (1 vote)
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التعليقات
UncommonUncommon    الجمعة, 22/03/2019 - 19:44

Pretty good, but indication that it's not the first such occasion is missed though. I think that is the "salt" of this limerick.

UncommonUncommon    الجمعة, 22/03/2019 - 19:47

I meant the last line - its the funniest one.

St. SolSt. Sol    الجمعة, 22/03/2019 - 19:56

2 syllables will have to be added to L4 to accomplish that, but then the reference to Denny will have to be removed to keep the syllable count the same. The result will be a confusion about whose briefs were misplaced.

BratBrat    السبت, 23/03/2019 - 01:46

Denny could be shortened to Den that spares one syllable...

BratBrat    السبت, 23/03/2019 - 02:36

I thought it would be smth. like "Found again Den's briefs misplaced"... Teeth smile

UncommonUncommon    الأحد, 24/03/2019 - 01:55

I guess everyone likes something specific in those 4 lines; but for me previous variant was stronger and carried the original joke well.

BratBrat    الجمعة, 22/03/2019 - 19:48

В накладке-> внакладе

St. SolSt. Sol    الجمعة, 22/03/2019 - 19:51

Что купил, то и продаю: претензий на авторство оригинала не предъявляю. Язык народный. Regular smile