It's me again, with some comments :).
- "itke myös." - this seems a bit unclear. Does it mean that the other person should "cry too" or something else? If so, it's okey.
- "Ota minut sylissäsi," --> "Ota minut syliisi"
- "Päästä minua irti," - if the original line means "let me go", then this should be "Päästä minut menemään" or "Päästä irti minusta" etc.
- "Älä pyydä, kuka minä olen" --> "Älä kysy, kuka minä olen" ("älä pyydä" would mean "don't ask (for something)")
Otherwise it seems fine.
If you share my translations elsewhere, please link to this page/my profile and give me credit for my work. Corrections are always welcome.
Evander