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Хокку про переводы хайку

Читаешь строки -
Возникают образы -
И вот перевод!
 
الترجمة

Haiku About Haiku Translations

You can read the lines -
You can arise the images -
Translation is here!
 
Iremia: أعلى count@
1.Камила (Kamila)
2.Признание в любви (не хокку) (Priznaniye v lyubvi)
3.Философствую снова (хокку) (Filosofstvuyu snova)
التعليقات
IremiaIremia
   الأحد, 20/12/2020 - 17:59

Thank you, Aver! 👏
Here is a little exercise for you - can you translate it in a haiku style, 5-7-5 syllables in each line? 😊😉

IovaIova
   الأحد, 20/12/2020 - 18:11

You're welcome, Irina! 👍
Well, I don't know whether I have the command of Russian or not, but I can try at least! 😅

IremiaIremia
   الأحد, 20/12/2020 - 18:04

Try! It’s so cool to try to jam your thoughts and translation into these limitations!!!👍

IovaIova
   الأحد, 20/12/2020 - 18:14

I did it, guess I cheated a bit but it's 5-7-5 now! 😂

IremiaIremia
   الأحد, 20/12/2020 - 18:22

Good attempt!

The last line could be:

Translation is here!

IovaIova
   الأحد, 20/12/2020 - 19:08

Oh, if it works that way, I'mma steal that one for sure! 😅👍
I wasn't so OK with transl either, it looks just fine now, thanks again!

IovaIova
   الأحد, 20/12/2020 - 18:08

Юрий, привет!
That's also a good 5, but don't wanna steal your work, thanks anyway! 😅👍

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    الأحد, 20/12/2020 - 18:25

Aver, just a suggestion:
You can arise the images - You can conjure images

IremiaIremia
   الأحد, 20/12/2020 - 18:32

D, I think it’s one syllable short though

IovaIova
   الأحد, 20/12/2020 - 19:10
BlackSea4ever ha scritto:

Why? It is 7
You can con-jure i-ma-ges

And Irina's actually right here, it's 6 syllables!

>Images
Is 2

>Conjure
Also 2

>You
1

>Can
Also 1

2+2+1+1 = 6

BlackSea4everBlackSea4ever    الأحد, 20/12/2020 - 19:06

HowManySyllables.com. How Many Syllables, n.d. Web. 20 December 2020.
How many syllables in images? 3 syllables

But, you can always go with: conjure up

IovaIova
   الأحد, 20/12/2020 - 18:57
BlackSea4ever ha scritto:

Aver, just a suggestion:
You can arise the images - You can conjure images

Oh, D, thanks a lot for your suggestions!
I'll keep them all in mind but I don't want to steal your ideas either, thanks anyway! 😅👍

Proshor ProshorovProshor Proshorov    الأثنين, 21/12/2020 - 11:04

Честно говоря, не очень понял, зачем здесь "You can read". Почему нельзя просто "You read"? Да и по артиклю "the images" сомнения. По-моему, "какие-то", не "эти" (образы), нет артикля.

IovaIova
   الأثنين, 21/12/2020 - 11:46

Юрий, все согласились, что перевод в порядке, ценю ваши комментарии, но, пожалуйста, подождите моего следующего перевод)

Proshor ProshorovProshor Proshorov    الأثنين, 21/12/2020 - 11:50

Для меня артикли - тайна за семью печатями.

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