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That You Should Just Smile

I know that there are angels in the world
waiting for me on the path
don't need to hurry, everything will work out alright
it will come with time
there are truly important things
in the end it is the small details
sometimes there is no need to speak
we found words also in the quiet
 
That you should just smile for your whole life
this is all that i ask for
a small house, a garden for the children
believe me i am happy
know that i will watch over us for ever
 
And you will soon see
the things themselves will come together on the path
the fears will fret, questions will be solved
it will come with time
there are truly important things
in the end it is the small details
sometimes we don't need to speak
even in the silence we found words
 
That you should just smile for your whole life
this is all that i ask for
a small house, a garden for the children
believe me i am happy
know that i will watch over us for ever
 
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Sahar90Sahar90    الأربعاء, 26/08/2020 - 07:12

Firstly, good job on the translation, it looks good.

A few points to consider (I wouldn't usually post replies, but you said feedback is welcome):
1) I'd maybe rephrase: "the things themselves with come together on the path, the fearful will fret, questions will be solved" to something like "things will find their own place on the path". It's a tiny bit less literal, but retains the meaning better and flows better in English. And in the second line, it's the fears themselves that will be afraid - that's part of things coming together, banishing the fears - rather than fearful people being afraid.
2) "sometimes we don't need to speak, we found words also in the quiet" - I'd keep the passive, general tone of the first line in the Hebrew ("sometimes there is no need to speak"), and reverse the order of the second "even in the silence we found words".
3) "in the end it is the small details" - this line seems to be referring to the important things, so I'd go with "they lie in the small details".

Like I say though, the translation is good, just a few things to consider.

Yours,

A fellow Yuval Dayan fan :)

Moshe KayeMoshe Kaye
   الخميس, 27/08/2020 - 16:21

Thank you! I made some changes as you suggested. I like to keep the translations as literal as possible as long as the meaning is not lost.

Please take another look now! Your feedback is much appreciate. I gave you a shout out in the author's comments.

~Moshe

Moshe KayeMoshe Kaye
   الخميس, 27/08/2020 - 16:25

BTW kind feedback is always welcome, really. The artists deserve the best translations!
~Moshe