Впопыхах опять смывался (превод на Английски)

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Впопыхах опять смывался

Впопыхах опять смывался,
Мой милёночек Илья.
Муж в накладке не остался:
Вновь прибавилось белья!
 
Пуснато от St. SolSt. Sol в Срд, 20/03/2019 - 15:49
превод на Английски (equirhythmic, rhyming)
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Yet Again My Darling Denny

Yet again my darling Denny
Had to run away undressed.
Hubby didn't lose a penny:
Once more with new briefs he's blessed!
 
© St.Sol @ LT: all rights reserved.
Пуснато от St. SolSt. Sol в Пет, 22/03/2019 - 19:35
Последно редактирано от St. SolSt. Sol на Нед, 24/03/2019 - 11:54
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Вашето класиране:None Средна оценка: 5 (1 vote)
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Коментари
UncommonUncommon    Пет, 22/03/2019 - 19:44

Pretty good, but indication that it's not the first such occasion is missed though. I think that is the "salt" of this limerick.

St. SolSt. Sol    Пет, 22/03/2019 - 19:56

2 syllables will have to be added to L4 to accomplish that, but then the reference to Denny will have to be removed to keep the syllable count the same. The result will be a confusion about whose briefs were misplaced.

BratBrat    Съб, 23/03/2019 - 01:46

Denny could be shortened to Den that spares one syllable...

BratBrat    Съб, 23/03/2019 - 02:36

I thought it would be smth. like "Found again Den's briefs misplaced"... Teeth smile

UncommonUncommon    Нед, 24/03/2019 - 01:55

I guess everyone likes something specific in those 4 lines; but for me previous variant was stronger and carried the original joke well.

BratBrat    Пет, 22/03/2019 - 19:48

В накладке-> внакладе

St. SolSt. Sol    Пет, 22/03/2019 - 19:51

Что купил, то и продаю: претензий на авторство оригинала не предъявляю. Язык народный. Regular smile