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  • Oberschlesien

    To Nie Sen → превод на английски

  • 2 превода
    английски, руски
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This Is Not A Dream

This is you
This is me
This is us
Is this a dream?
Well, yeah
These are not dreams
And I feel like bein' next to
Fillin' my dreams with you
Right beside you I wanna dream my dreams that
Have been filled by you
 
It's us
It's not dreams that are
So beautiful
Just say nothing
It's not dreams
 
Again you
Agaın me
This is us
You want?
I do
It feels so nice
And I feel like tastin'
You and your body yet again
So I can go deep inside
That's how I wanna feel
 
It's us
It's not dreams that are
So beautiful
Just say nothing
It's not dreams
 
Let our lips tremble
Let our hands shake
Expose shamelessness in the boldest shape
Let our stray hands
Creep without bein' rushed
This is the ocean of sensation
In the drop of our desires
 
It's us
It's not dreams that are
So beautiful
Just say nothing
It's not dreams
No no no...
 
Оригинален текст

To Nie Sen

Натиснете тук, за да видите оригиналния текст (полски (силезийски диалект))

Oberschlesien: 3-те най-преглеждани
Коментари
SpiritOfLightSpiritOfLight
   вторник, 25/01/2022 - 20:43

Please arrange your translation according to verses in original so that it would be intelligible for everyone.

Inez KiborInez Kibor
   сряда, 26/01/2022 - 16:25

right, it is now. But if you still miss some of the lines in translation it's because it nedded changing the structure sentence.

Don KondziorDon Kondzior    четвъртък, 27/01/2022 - 10:43

I've spotted a lot of mistakes - both in Silesian-English translation and your English notation itself. Yet, I don't know if I should write down all of the goofs here, or maybe create own translation xD

Inez KiborInez Kibor
   четвъртък, 27/01/2022 - 14:16

I appreciate your comment. My mouse seems to have played a trick on me. All has been fixed.

Don KondziorDon Kondzior    петък, 28/01/2022 - 12:07

Okay, good. Now let us get to the translation.
In fact this translation is not tagged as commented, metered or any else, but I won't be nitpicking about for example translating "Czy to sen?" as "Am I dreamin'?" instead of "Is this a dream?".

But I can see that you partially ommited the fact that song isn't written in Polish, but in Silesian dialect of Polish. Hence words like "ja" or "zaś" have different meanings than you probably thought they have:
Ja - yes; yeah (just like in German language)
Zaś - again

Now about English language itself. "Such beautiful" should be actually "So beautiful".
"Such" can be used if it precedes noun phrase, while here it precedes only an adjective, without a noun. So it would be correct if the translated sentence was "Such beautiful dreams" (although that's not what original lyrics say).

In 7th verse you forgot the subject "I".

In 9th verse "I wanna dreamin' my dreams" misses "be" before gerund (unless you wanted to write "I wanna dream my dreams").

Better put "Do" in front of "You want?" during second verse. Yes/No questions should start with an auxiliary verb (unless you really wanted to make it sound like colloquial conversational speech).

21st verse. Again lack of subject ("It").

I think that in next verse you wanted to write "tasting" instead of "testing". "Though" is next verse is needless, I guess.

Second verse of the bridge. "So do our hands". "Do" makes here no sense. Use "Let" instead.

shamelesSness

And of course you still should match number of translation verses with original ones, as SpiritOfLight advised above. Full sentences are also divided into few verses in original, so doing it the same way in translation won't be faux pas.

If you have any questions about my comment, please text me a private message. I guess we can explain things there in our beloved Polish language ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)

Inez KiborInez Kibor
   петък, 28/01/2022 - 10:20

Miło powitać kolegę po fachu. Jestem otwarty na krytykę. Dziękuję za komentarz, szczególnie dot. dialektu śląskiego. Skoryguje oczywiście i napiszę swoje uwagi na PM.