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Текст на „A Little Priest“

[Mrs. Lovett]
That's all very well, but what are we going to do about the Italian?
 
[Todd]
Later on, when it's dark, we'll take him out of the trunk and bury him
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Well, yes, of course, we could do that. I don't suppose he's got any relatives gonna come poking around looking for him. But you know me, bright ideas just pop into my head and I keep thinking...
 
Seems a downright shame
 
[Todd]
Shame?
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Seems an awful waste
Such a nice plump frame
What's his name has… had… has
Nor he can't be traced
 
Business needs a lift
Debts to be erased
Think of it as thrift
As a gift
If you get my drift
No?
Seems an awful waste
 
I mean, with the price of meat
What it is
When you get it
If you get it
 
[Todd]
Ha!
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Good, you got it
 
Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop
Business never better, using only pussycats and toast
And a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most
And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste
 
[Todd]
Mrs. Lovett
What a charming notion
Eminently practical
And yet appropriate as always
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Well, it does seem a waste
 
[Todd]
Mrs. Lovett
How I've lived without you all these years
I'll never know
 
How delectable
Also undetectable
How choice
How rare
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Think about it, lots of other gentlemen'll
Soon be comin' for a shave, won't they?
Think of
All them
Pies
 
[Todd]
For what's the sound of the world out there?
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
What, Mr. Todd?
What, Mr. Todd?
What is that sound?
 
[Todd]
Those crunching noises pervading the air
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Yes, Mr. Todd
Yes, Mr. Todd
Yes, all around
 
[Todd]
It's man devouring man, my dear
 
[Both]
And who are we to deny it in here?
 
[Todd]
These are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures must be taken.
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Here we are now, hot out of the oven
 
[Todd]
What is that?
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
It's priest
Have a little priest
 
[Todd]
Is it really good?
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Sir, it's too good, at least!
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh
So it's pretty fresh
 
[Todd]
Awful lot of fat
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Only where it sat
 
[Todd]
Haven't you got poet, or something like that?
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
No, y'see, the trouble with poet is
How do you know it's deceased?
Try the priest!
 
[Todd]
Heavenly! Not as hearty as bishop, perhaps, but then not as bland as curate, either!
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
And good for business, too; always leaves you wantin' more!
Trouble is, we only get it on Sundays!
 
Lawyer's rather nice
 
[Todd]
If it's for a price
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Order something else, though, to follow
Since no one should swallow it twice!
 
[Todd]
Anything that's lean?
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Well, then, if you're British and loyal
You might enjoy Royal Marine
Anyway, it's clean
Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been!
 
[Todd]
Is that squire
On the fire?
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Mercy no, sir, look closer
You'll notice it's grocer!
 
[Todd]
Looks thicker
More like vicar!
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
No, it has to be grocer
It's green!
 
[Todd]
The history of the world, my love
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Save a lot of graves
Do a lot of relatives favours
 
[Todd]
Is those below serving those up above
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Ev'rybody shaves
So there should be plenty of flavors
 
[Todd]
How gratifying for once to know
 
[Both]
That those above will serve those down below
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Now let's see, here... We've got tinker
 
[Todd]
Something pinker
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Tailor
 
[Todd]
Something paler
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Potter?
 
[Todd]
Something hotter
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Butler?
 
[Todd]
Something subtler
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Locksmith?
 
Lovely bit of clerk
 
[Todd]
Maybe for a lark
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Then again there's sweep
If you want it cheap
And you like it dark
Try the financier
Peak of his career
 
[Todd]
That looks pretty rank
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Well, he drank
It's a bank cashier
Never really sold
Maybe it was old
 
[Todd]
Have you any beadle?
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Next week, so I'm told!
Beadle isn't bad till you smell it and
Notice how well it's been greased
Stick to priest!
 
Now then, this might be a little bit stringy
But then of course it's fiddle player
 
[Todd]
No, this isn't fiddle player. It's piccolo player.
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
How can you tell?
 
[Todd]
It's piping hot
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Then blow on it first!
 
[Todd]
The history of the world, my sweet
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Oh, Mr. Todd
Ooh, Mr. Todd
What does it tell?
 
[Todd]
Is who gets eaten, and who gets to eat
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
And, Mr. Todd
Too, Mr. Todd
Who gets to sell
 
[Todd]
But fortunately, it's also clear
 
[Both]
That ev'rybody goes down well with beer!
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Since marine doesn't appeal to you, how about... rear admiral?
 
[Todd]
Too salty. I prefer general
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
With or without his privates?
With is extra
 
[Todd]
What is that?
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
It's fop
Finest in the shop
Or we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top!
And I've just begun
Here's the politician, so oily
It's served with a doily
Have one!
 
[Todd]
Put it on a bun
Well, you never know if it's going to run!
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Try the friar
Fried, it's drier!
 
[Todd]
No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Then actor
That's compacter
 
[Todd]
Yes, and always arrives overdone
I'll come again when you have judge on the menu
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Wait, true, we don't have judge yet
But we've got something you might fancy even better
 
[Todd]
What's that?
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Executioner
 
[Todd]
Have charity towards the world, my pet
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
Yes, yes, I know, my love
 
[Todd]
We'll take the customers that we can get
 
[Mrs. Lovett]
High-born and low, my love
 
[Todd]
We'll not discriminate great from small
No, we'll serve anyone
Meaning anyone
 
[Both]
And to anyone
At all
 

 

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