Advertisements

Could any English Native Speaker Proofread this, please?

11 posts / 0 new
Super Member
<a href="/bn/translator/dhaniramirez" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1207834">dhani.ramirez</a>
যোগদান: 19.05.2014
Pending moderation

Hi! Could any English Native Speaker proofread this lyrics, please?

Specially the second verse

https://lyricstranslate.com/en/fey-guilty-pleasure-only-vocals-adicto-mi...

Thanks in advance.

Super Member
<a href="/bn/translator/george-vassilev" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1326206">George Vassilev</a>
যোগদান: 03.02.2017

I looked up the lyrics, they don't seem to have grammatical mistakes in them. I am not going to listen to the song, because I only listen to Metal (almost). I am not a native, but studied English for 10 years and spoke with a lot of natives and some were fooled that I might be a native from the UK. No need to be anxious about it.

Super Member
<a href="/bn/translator/sarah-rose" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1408155">Sarah Rose</a>
যোগদান: 07.01.2019

The line "Erasing if thought that your mind has wandered off me" doesn't make sense grammatically and also doesn't match what she's saying, although I can't tell you what she might be saying instead.

The line "Eat you trough your head" should read "Eat you through your head."

Junior Member
<a href="/bn/translator/darienisaacmirbeaulopez" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1232534">darienisaac.mirbeaulopez</a>
যোগদান: 16.01.2015

What is your guess what she could be saying and may match with lyrics?

I found the studio mastered version

https://youtu.be/FPyDOa_zoOw

... Be your little pill, you raise/race on if thought that your mind has wandered off me

Super Member
<a href="/bn/translator/sarah-rose" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1408155">Sarah Rose</a>
যোগদান: 07.01.2019

I have no idea, I had originally thought it was something like "[The/a/your reason] if I thought your mind has wandered off me," but that doesn't make sense and didn't fit with the first version. It fits with the studio mastered version, but still...it doesn't make sense.

Other lyric sites show it as something like "...the thought you're mine..." but that doesn't work grammatically with the rest of the sentence.

Member
<a href="/bn/translator/hcol" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1420950">Hcol</a>
যোগদান: 08.05.2019

It would be to wander 'from' not 'off' surely? I haven't read the lyrics. I will try to get round to it soon. The rest I see in the comments seems a bit strange...

Editor (Resident Evil)
<a href="/bn/translator/magicmulder" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1264038">magicmulder</a>
যোগদান: 26.10.2015

I can't listen to the song right now (no speakers/headphones) but something like "Erase any thought that your mind has wandered off me" would make a bit more sense.
Though "off" is still slightly ungrammatical IMO; a mind can "wander off" (lose focus/concentration) but not "off something/someone" (though you can "take your mind off something", i.e. think about something else), could be wrong though (I'm bilingual but as they say, we end up being imperfect in two languages Wink smile ).
Even more natural would be "Erase any thought you might have wandering off/from me", i.e. "I make you keep your focus on me all the time". Or, if that is what's meant, "erase any thought your mind has about wandering away from me", i.e. "I make you never think about leaving me".

Member
<a href="/bn/translator/hcol" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1420950">Hcol</a>
যোগদান: 08.05.2019

"Even more natural would be "Erase any thought you might have wandering off/from me" I would prefer "any thought you might have OF wandering off/away from me".
I agree having two languages can hinder in some ways but although I've lived in France for many years i still prefer my mother tongue (English ).
Sorry no time to look at this song yet.

Member
<a href="/bn/translator/mathewskottayam" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1188888">mathews.kottayam</a>
যোগদান: 29.09.2013

"I can't listen to the song right now (no speakers/headphones) but something like "Erase any thought that your mind has wandered off me" would make a bit more sense."

I listened to the section in question and this is almost certainly what she sings. (Not a native speaker, but I get by)

Junior Member
<a href="/bn/translator/darienisaacmirbeaulopez" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1232534">darienisaac.mirbeaulopez</a>
যোগদান: 16.01.2015

Let's see what the others say...

Junior Member
<a href="/bn/translator/darienisaacmirbeaulopez" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1232534">darienisaac.mirbeaulopez</a>
যোগদান: 16.01.2015

I think your guess is the accurate one with "Erase any thought your mind has wandered off me"

নতুন কমেন্ট যুক্ত করুন