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Романс про минуле

І минуле окриється тінню земною:
Це було не зі мною, було не зі мною...
Водевільні сюжети і драми дешеві,
І амурові стріли, і їхні мішені...
Мій учинок, що серце троюдить докором;
Люта заздрість моя, за яку мені сором;
Тайні язви ганьби, опоганене ложе...
Ні, цього не було,
Ні, цього не було,
Та і бути не може.
 
Нас жага споминання ошукує тонко:
Там, в минулім, не ми, лиш пусті оболонки...
Випадкові одбитки, линовища збляклі,
Театральні костюми з оджилих спектаклів...
Хто себе розгубив – той шукай де спромога,
Та лише не в минулім, не в ньому, на бога...
Що минає – лишім йому мирно минути:
Слався, часе, за те,
Слався, часе, за те,
Що тебе не вернути.
 
Übersetzung

A Romance About The Past

And the past will be covered by the shadow of the Earth:
It's not to me that was happening, It's not to me...
The vaudeville scenes and the cheap dramas,
And Cupid’s arrows, and all their targets...
My deed, that torments my heart with reproach;
My evil envy, for which I am ashamed;
The secret sores of disgrace, the desecrated bed...
No, that never happened
No, that never happened,
And that could never happen.
 
The thirst for memories plays tricks on us delicately:
In the past, it's not us, it's just empty shells...
Random imprints, faded husks,
Theatrical costumes from the obsolete performances...
Those who are lost - let them look for themselves where they can,
But only not in the past, not there, for God's sake...
What has passed - let it pass peacefully:
Hail you Time,
Hail you Time,
For you can't be wound back.
 
Lucyna Khvorost: Top 3
1.Солодко-гіркий романс (Solodko-girkiy romans)
2.Романс про минуле (Romans pro mynule)
3.50, 60, 70 років тому (50, 60, 70 rokiv tomu)
Kommentare
IgeethecatIgeethecat    Mi, 20/06/2018 - 16:31

mischiefs - mischief is a noun, mischieve is a verb, but I don’t think it means the same as ошукати. If understand it right, it should be something like ‘deceive’, ‘trick’, ‘delude’

BratBrat    Mi, 20/06/2018 - 16:50

Actually it means to hoodwink, if only I remember Ukrainian well...

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Do, 21/06/2018 - 02:19

Alex meant sores, not soars

There, in the past, are not us, it's just the empty shells = In the past, there are not us, just empty shells (something like this)
And shell here means cast, sheath, skin, not a sea shell :)

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Do, 21/06/2018 - 02:38

The other thing about the past
What has passed - let it pass peacefully

It is almost word to word translation meaning something like ‘let’s allow things, that had happened in the pass, go (away) peacefully’ ( don’t think or regret about the past). This is how I understand it, I might be wrong :)

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Do, 21/06/2018 - 02:36

The last one - they are praising Time because/(for the fact that) they cannot wind it back (take back). I don’t how to make this sound like a command in English. Time is the main word, not goodness, if you know what I mean.

And, Ukrainian natives, if misunderstood something in the original meaning, please correct me.

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Do, 21/06/2018 - 02:41

Oh well, Ukrainians don’t have Russian soul, but they speak the same way :)

Alexander LaskavtsevAlexander Laskavtsev
   Do, 21/06/2018 - 08:05

Нет, я понял, просто у меня возникло подозрение, что Пьер сам себя недолюбливает...

GavinGavin
   Do, 21/06/2018 - 08:18

You've all been busy! :)
It all seems to read very well to me now - unless there's any line in particular that anyone's still unsure about?

Alexander LaskavtsevAlexander Laskavtsev
   Do, 21/06/2018 - 08:29

What do you think about the "moults"? Do you understand the meaning? (If you don't, please read the last comments)

GavinGavin
   Do, 21/06/2018 - 08:33

I do - although it's maybe not a very well known word.
We mean the cast off shell/exoskeleton yes? Like a spider leaves behind when it grows.

"Moults" is the correct word but "husks" might be more immediately recognisable.

Alexander LaskavtsevAlexander Laskavtsev
   Do, 21/06/2018 - 06:11
petit élève schrieb:

"hoodwink" does not go well with "delicately", I think. "plays subtle tricks on us" or something?

What goes well with "hoodwink" then? I want to leave this word, for it fits the best here.

petit élève schrieb:

What has passed - let it pass peacefully -> "Let the past pass away in peace" or something?

Hail you Time, for you can't be returned. -> this Slavic way of talking to concepts sounds a bit odd here.
"Thank goodness, time can't be wound back" or something like that?

I gonna leave the Slavic way of talking to concepts, even if it sounds strange. For example, Arabic or Turkish way of talking is also very strange, but it makes an unique style in translations. ;)

Alexander LaskavtsevAlexander Laskavtsev
   Do, 21/06/2018 - 06:22

I've read them and made some corrections. How do they call the skin, left by a snake after moulting? (the word for "ліновища")

IgeethecatIgeethecat    Do, 21/06/2018 - 06:32

Трудно объяснить иностранцу что такое оболонки :) ваш перевод они могут понять как ракушки ;)

And about that fancy ‘hoodwink’, I completely agree with Pierre, in such a beautiful Ukrainian song, it is not acceptable

Alexander LaskavtsevAlexander Laskavtsev
   Do, 21/06/2018 - 06:40

Let it be - actually the word "ракушки" provides the same meaning (especially if it is empty) ;)

But I was asking about "ліновища" :)

Well, OK, if you insist...

Sophia_Sophia_
   Do, 21/06/2018 - 07:23

Я то же самое собиралась сказать.
Ничего другого в голову не приходит.

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