Translating Russian to English

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Super Member
<a href="/de/translator/igeethecat" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1365086">Igeethecat</a>
Beigetreten: 16.12.2017
sandring wrote:
Quote:

master's bedroom? Совсем взбрендили

Ну, вообще-то я пошутить хотела, намекая на "Uncle Tom's Cabin", который убрали из школьной программы. Ну, да ладно.

Надя пошутить хотела. Где фанфары и пионеры в галстуках? В хижине дяди Тома 😂😻😍🥰

Junior Member
<a href="/de/translator/applerock" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1464894">Applerock</a>
Beigetreten: 28.07.2020

У меня такое чувство что синева она и в Африке синева, но погружает в ностальгию не синева а автор. Я специально отошел от шпилей и "фармов", чтобы сделать стихотворение более Русским.

На сердце бриз с чужбины вея
Родной мне образ погубил:
Что мне холмы в дали синеют?
Деревни, церкви? Все забыл…

Умиротворения родного,
Ни нив лоснящихся широт,
Не даст мне Бог узреть былого,
Исхоженных блаженных троп.

Member Dan Shine
<a href="/de/translator/shined" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1461957">shined</a>
Beigetreten: 30.06.2020

Looking at the Houseman:
Into my heart an air that kills
From yon far country blows:
What are those blue remembered hills,
What spires, what farms are those?

That is the land of lost content,
I see it shining plain,
The happy highways where I went
And cannot come again.

I think you may have missed the drift. He knows very well, has not forgotten, the hills and spires and farms. It is all "remembered" in agony. The point made in the second quatrain is that the content that all this brought him cannot be recaptured, re-lived. And not sure I would bring God into it.

Super Member
<a href="/de/translator/brat" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1334845">Brat</a>
Beigetreten: 13.04.2017

Into my heart an air that kills

The verb lacks object here.
It's a too common trick in English poetry but it sometimes can somehow embarrass somebody.
Regular smile

Member Dan Shine
<a href="/de/translator/shined" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1461957">shined</a>
Beigetreten: 30.06.2020

actually it is the object that lacks a verb, the implied "comes."

Editor
<a href="/de/translator/sandring" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1263066">sandring</a>
Beigetreten: 18.10.2015

Nothing lacks anything, I presume Regular smile

Senior Member
<a href="/de/translator/almitra" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1432222">Almitra</a>
Beigetreten: 01.09.2019

I'm sorry, Dan, but I fail to see any missing elements. [An air that kills] [blows] [into my heart] [from yon far country]. Am I wrong?

By the way, what's your opinion of Housman? I've read the entire poem, and I quite enjoyed it (although I'm not sure I like the "time-jump" structure of the poem). But I also took the time to read some of his critics, and many of them seem to think that he's simplistic, "a Georgian," or not even a minor poet.

Editor
<a href="/de/translator/sandring" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1263066">sandring</a>
Beigetreten: 18.10.2015

Dan and Brat mean that "kill" must be transitive, which is not true. It may be used intransitively all right. The infamous "Born to kill"

Super Member
<a href="/de/translator/brat" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1334845">Brat</a>
Beigetreten: 13.04.2017
sandring wrote:

Nothing lacks anything, I presume Regular smile

Is there anything that lacks nothing? I doubt that.

Super Member
<a href="/de/translator/blacksea4ever" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1390089">BlackSea4ever</a>
Beigetreten: 19.07.2018

There’s certainly something that lacks nothing - you just doubt it... 😇

Member Dan Shine
<a href="/de/translator/shined" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1461957">shined</a>
Beigetreten: 30.06.2020

You are entirely right. I didn't get far enough down the quatrain to reach "blows." There is no need for an implied verb. That kill need not take an object I knew.

I like Housman, in part because of his little bursts of real poetry (blue remembered hills being one of those) and in part because he quite unwittingly evokes an era. The rich vowels, the smug Edwardian cadence and content. For fun see Housman's humor, the short "When I was one and twenty." That would make an interesting translation into Russian.

PZ
<a href="/de/translator/pinhas-zelenogorsky" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1410652">Pinchus Zelenogorsky</a>
Beigetreten: 28.01.2019

Александр, прочтите Last Poems. Хаусмэн (так он по-русски пишется?) умен и язвителен как черт. Какой уж там simplistic?

PZ
<a href="/de/translator/pinhas-zelenogorsky" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1410652">Pinchus Zelenogorsky</a>
Beigetreten: 28.01.2019

>For fun see Housman's humor, the short "When I was one and twenty."
Я видел переводы на русский, но мне не понравились те, что я нашел.

Super Member
<a href="/de/translator/brat" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1334845">Brat</a>
Beigetreten: 13.04.2017
shined wrote:

I like Housman, in part because of his little bursts of real poetry (blue remembered hills being one of those) and in part because he quite unwittingly evokes an era.

Uhm...
Into my heart an air that kills
From yon far country blows:
What are those blueish silent hills,
What elms, what streets are those?

Senior Member
<a href="/de/translator/almitra" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1432222">Almitra</a>
Beigetreten: 01.09.2019

Thanks, I'll try those next. I failed to find all of his poetic works on Internet Archive the first time around, so I was unable to read anything but A Shropshire Lad (and I prefer printed books or scans of printed books, for online sources aren't always accurate or error-free). And I didn't find him simplistic - not overly complicated, yes, but not simplistic. I was just curious what you thought because of all the polar opinions on his poetry.

Member Dan Shine
<a href="/de/translator/shined" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1461957">shined</a>
Beigetreten: 30.06.2020

this is the poem as I remember it, probably pretty close:

When i was one and twenty I heard a wise man say
throw crowns and pounds and guineas, but not your heart away.
Throw pearls away and rubies, and keep your fancy free.
But I was one and twenty. No use to talk to me.

When I was one and twenty I heard him say again
The heart out of the bosom is never giv'n in vain.
Tis paid with sighs aplenty and bought with endless rue.
And i am two and twenty, and ah, tis true tis true.

Senior Member
<a href="/de/translator/almitra" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1432222">Almitra</a>
Beigetreten: 01.09.2019

Yes, I liked that one as well. I found this edition of his collected works:
https://archive.org/details/in.ernet.dli.2015.99630/page/n5/mode/2up
It's a respectable online library that publishes legit copyright-free books, and those which aren't can be borrowed for free - requires registration - as you would from an offline library.

PZ
<a href="/de/translator/pinhas-zelenogorsky" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1410652">Pinchus Zelenogorsky</a>
Beigetreten: 28.01.2019

throw -> give
bought -> sold

Member Dan Shine
<a href="/de/translator/shined" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1461957">shined</a>
Beigetreten: 30.06.2020

Yeah, I should have known that. Housman too much the craftsman to repeat "throw" and the young man is not buying but selliing.

Junior Member
<a href="/de/translator/applerock" class="userpopupinfo username" rel="user1464894">Applerock</a>
Beigetreten: 28.07.2020

Thanks for your comment Dan. What I wanted to say that I guess it is not the blue that makes it nostalgic, but the whole wording, rhythm and spirit. My translation is just a play that I amused myself with during my lunch break walk. I purposely deviated from the original to make it more Russian.

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