Gute Reise, Schöne Rose (Englisch Übersetzung)
Bon Voyage, My Beautiful Rose
| Danke! ❤ |  |  |
| thanked 2 times | ||
hankeat am Di, 01/12/2020 - 11:55 eingetragen
| 1. | Tombe la neige |
| 2. | Inch'Allah |
| 3. | La nuit |
silenced
Di, 01/12/2020 - 14:25
I'm a bit surprised by the two stars. What is so wrong with this translation?
I see a few small things, but they could be fixed easily enough, I guess.
Geborgenheit
Di, 01/12/2020 - 14:19
I reported the vote. This translation is pretty good. There are mistakes and I am in the process of correcting them.
Alma Barroca
Di, 01/12/2020 - 14:21
You really wanted to give theses 2 stars?
elfy2016
Di, 01/12/2020 - 14:29
five stars sorry
Geborgenheit
Di, 01/12/2020 - 14:46
No problem, I reported your vote only because I didn't think you would respond. Also I would suggest not rating a translation unless you know both languages well. In other words, you can just simply thank the user.
silenced
Di, 01/12/2020 - 15:00
No problem, it was just a slight mishap 
Geborgenheit
Di, 01/12/2020 - 14:55
Hi, this translation is pretty good, however I gave you four stars instead of five because the English does not sound completely natural in certain areas. I also would have attempted to follow both the rhyme and the meter of the original but that is more of a stylistic choice. Since this translation is clearly meant to be more literal however, my corrections are as follows:
Title: Bon Voyage, My Beautiful Rose
First stanza corrections:
3rd line: For you were way too beautiful
4th line: for my little garden.
6th line: I didn't see for a long time
7th line: Yet I'm not afraid of it.
9th line: I'm not afraid of it.
Second stanza corrections:
2nd line: Thus if you like
3rd line: the rose red, the sky blue,
4th line: then the world is ours!
5th line: There was also a rose
6th line: I tried to run after
8th line: since she stung me
Third stanza corrections:
4th line: only speaks through the flower
6th line: speaks through the rose
7th line: You would immediately go mad
8th line: for it stings so hard.
Fourth stanza corrections:
3rd line: empty and desolate, grey and drab
4th line: Then the world is ours!
7th line: To me, you're never wrong
hankeat
Di, 01/12/2020 - 17:46
Thanks for the corrections.
Geborgenheit
Di, 01/12/2020 - 18:19
No problem, you have to switch around the sentences regarding the third and fourth lines of the first stanza, otherwise the English won't sound natural.
j'aime cette version rare pour moi merci de vos améliorations et relectures