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Мёртвый вечер

Свет на кухне то включаю, то выключаю
Сигареты, крепкий чай, молчание,
Ты же знаешь вслед за радостью идет отчаяние
Мертвый вечер, и я снова на полу,
Столько мыслей проходит через голову
Ты же знаешь здесь молчат лишь про тебя одну.
 
Я знаю как спастись... (Я знал...)
Я знаю как спастись... (Я знал...)
 
Лишь когда на деревьях погаснет свет
Ты же знаешь отвечает один за всех,
На твоих глазах так медленно тает снег,
Задуши себя шарфом, лишь бросив взгляд
На того кто обычно привык молчать,
Ты же знаешь уже поздно и нельзя терять.
 
Я не знаю как спастись... (Я знал...)
Я не знаю как спастись... (Я знал...)
 
Кривые дома и деревья в анабиозе, кровати января, коррозия шепчет как будто колеса поезда, и мысли сливаются в воедино с ощущением звуков и дымом, будто бы ветер приветствует холодом огни этого грязного города, всему виной эти кривые дома, выбери одно слово из ста, чтобы описать все что сейчас происходит, холодная, от крика, подушка спасает. Кто-то теряет, находит, и только нам это наверное чуждо. Такими порывами веришь, невольно, что чудо, которое невозможно, происходит именно с нами, оно настолько огромное, что уже не спрячешь за кривыми домами и глупой фальшивой улыбкой. Страх заменяя попытками. Ветер обнял твои руки, и снова задохнулась зима, всему виной эти кривые дома.
 
Übersetzung

Lifeless evening

Flickering lights on the kitchen on and off
Cigarettes, strong tea, silence,
But you know behind the happiness is despair following
Lifeless evening, and I am on the floor again,
So many thoughts going through the head
But you know everyone here stays silent only about you alone.
 
I know how to save myself... (I knew...)
I know how to save myself... (I knew...)
 
Only when trees will go dark
You know one speaks for everyone,
On your eyes snow is melting gently,
Strangle yourself with a scarf, just by throwing a glance behind
On someone who is used to stay silent,
But you know its too late and nothing left to lose.
 
I don't know how to save myself... (I knew...)
I don't know how to save myself... (I knew...)
 
Distorted trees and building in anabiosis, beds of January, corrosion whispering like trail wheels, and thoughts merging into one with senses of sound and smoke, as wind was greeting coldly these lights of this festering city, curse these distorted houses, pick one word from hundred, to describe everything happening, frozen, from the screaming, pillow comforts me. Someone is losing, someone is receiving, and it's probably just unknown for us. With these urges, a hope appears unwillingly, that impossible miracle, is happening only with us, big so much, that you cannot hide behind the distorted houses and stupid false smile. Fear replacing attempts. Wind holds your hands, and winter choked herself again, these distorted houses to blame.
 
Kommentare
Phil AmbroPhil Ambro    Mi, 30/09/2020 - 00:20

(Your translation was OK, but I've made a few changes to make it sound better in English. Use whatever you want.
(Even after translating it, I have to admit, it doesn't make much sense in English. A little more help in the meaning behind this song is needed for it to have some meaning in English.)

In the dead of night.
Lights flicker off and on in the kitchen.
Cigarettes, some strong tea and silence...
But you know after the happiness despair follows.
In the dead of night, I'm lying on the floor again,
So many thoughts going through my head
But you know everyone here won't mention you, alone.

I know how to be safe. (I knew...)
I know how to save myself... (I knew...)

When the sunlight no longer shows through the trees,
you know, one speaks for them all.
The snow melts gently in your eyes,
Strangle yourself with your scarf as you turn to look back
at someone who is used to be silent.
But you know it's too late and there's nothing left to lose.

I don't know how to save myself... (I knew...)
I don't know how to be saved... (I knew...)

Twisted houses and trees stand in suspended animation. Flowerbeds in January. Rusty whispers like the wheels of a train, and thoughts merge into one. The sensation of sound and smoke, as if the wind greets this dirty city's lights with the cold. These tilted houses are to blame. Choose one word from a hundred to describe everything that's happening now.
Cold. Moans. A pillow saves you. Someone loses, what someone finds, and it's only strange to us.
You're driven to believe that an impossible miracle is happening to us. It's so big that you can't hide behind the twisted houses and your stupid fake smile. Replace your fears with trying. Let your arms embrace the wind. and the Winter suffocate itself again. All these twisted houses are to blame.

pnielsenpnielsen    Fr, 26/02/2021 - 04:10

I agree, but the translation is also wrong in some places. "Lights flicker off and on in the kitchen". - This is not what's sung, so I assume you don't understand Russian. What's sung is literally "I turn the kitchen light on and off" - it's not somebody flickering. The first person, "I", is used - you know because of the verb forms включаю and выключаю.

Also, I have to totally diss your "In the dead of night" translation. This is definitely not what's sung at all. ночь is night. вечер is evening. мёртвый is dead. "A dead evening", 'A lifeless evening", an evening without anything going on... That's what it is about. I guess "An uneventful evening", but how uptight does that not sound... :D

I did my own translation and as a native English speaker it probably is better. However, getting Russian wording and thoughts into English can be hard and frankly it does not always make sense unless you understand the cultural aspects...

That said, you have one very nice improvement there. I really like the use of "rusty" instead of "corrosion"! That's awesome. However, "flowerbeds"? That's not sung! The song only mentions кровати (beds) and not цветники (flower beds)... And it's a song about death, so we can be pretty sure a death bed is more likely than a flower bed :D Crooked houses. They're crooked. Not twisted. криво́й has the same multitude of meanings as crooked: bent/twisted or dishonest/illegal. You see what I'm saying here? If you translate it to twisted, the latter important meaning is lost - the meaning of crooked that makes more sense in this song...

Cheers!

Phil AmbroPhil Ambro    Sa, 27/02/2021 - 03:06

Thanks. Of course, I have no Russian culture to go by. I have also forgotten a multitude of Russian words, and sometimes, I get two similar verbs confused. Slang makes things incomprehensible. Modern Russian, with so many Americanized words is hell too.
Thank you for your comments. I did miss the -аю ending. Twisted house? Makes no sense. Drug house? Crack house. I don't even know if English has such an idiom for "twisted house". Dilapidating house? Well good luck on that one. Thanks for the corrections, I learn from my mistakes, which are numerous.

pnielsenpnielsen    So, 28/02/2021 - 06:33

I don't know. To me crooked houses in English reflects my understanding of the Russian intent which is more like dishonest, corrupted, illegal, etc...Not physically bent houses, but regular houses with people that don't behave the way people expect them to... Correct me if I'm wrong.

Leviathan21Leviathan21
   Do, 29/04/2021 - 17:07

the song herself does not makes much sense in russian, its purely mix of numerous poems and wordings in fast tempo that eventually associate with russian everyday stuff and just capture the feeling, trying to fix it or something kinda hit the original purpose

Phil AmbroPhil Ambro    Di, 02/03/2021 - 21:12

"crooked" is normally used with people, not things, so it sounds literal, as if the house is literally slanting, like the leaning tower of Pisa. It's hard to say that a house can be dishonest, illegal, etc. A house is just a house. The people who live there may be all of those things, but the house itself can only be dilapidated, falling down, condemned, etc. You see my problem. A house can be haunted, and the ghosts can be "crooks". Thinking about it, the best I can say is a "crack house" where people sell and use drugs. But, if it means more than that, I guess it would be best to change the English and say "It's a house of ill repute" (but this implies prostitution). Perhaps "It's a house of evil." or "It's a house of thieves." "a house of dishonesty" "a house of moral corruption". If any of these work, use it. It definitely sounds better "a crooked house" in English.