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where was i last night...

where was i last night?
no chance i will find.
some wallpaper on walls..
i remember it.. mostly..
the marie girl.. and some other whore
nevermind!
i made out with both
‘til i lost it
 
i woke up the next day
and i heard it at once
cursed the hostess, they say,
then all naked i danced
 
tried to frighten them all
spoke in verses and sang
and my father i called
a big general man
 
they say later i tore up my shirt
beat my chest
every one i annoyed
hurt some feelings
 
claimed they everyone sold me
or maybe betrayed
bothered them with my songs
through the evening
 
i stopped drinking sometime
guess i needed to rest
then on walls i poured wine
broke glasses in jest
 
opened windows, and more!
grabbed some china, you guessed,
threw it all on the floor
then.. my head hit a desk
 
no one dared with me, not a one
but later.. they surely rallied
all at once, laughing hard
forced me down, tied me up
just like that.. and no one cared
 
some just spat in my face
others forced me to drink
and some dancer, with grace,
hit me hard, but in sync
 
then, a beautiful widow,
faithful still to her man,
pity took on me, kiddo,
she said, make a stand
 
in the kitchen, my face nothing but bloody mess
i said, chill, no more trouble, you dorks
cut the ropes, you assassins, and i will confess
they untied me, right after they hid all the forks
 
there are no words
to describe the next scene
hands of mine became swords
strong i was like a fiend
 
i beastly turned red
like an animal wild
on windows i fed,
911 hosts dialed
 
as if sprayed hard by mace
bruises all dark and blue
no way to save face
what comes next, no clue
 
where was i last night?
no chance i will find.
yes! wallpaper on walls..
i remember it.. mostly..
 
if true is one third of what happened last night
there’s nothing to do but hide self from the sight
it was only that widow who made it all right
took some pity on me, said, come home, i invite
 
Originaltext

Ох где был я вчера

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