Flashlight ( Κινεζικά μετάφραση)

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电筒

当明天来,我将会独自一个
我害怕着未知的事
当明天来
明天来
明天来
虽然那路是那么长
我抬头看着天空
我在黑暗里,我找,我停,我不会飞
我唱着,唱着,以后我唱着
 
当我得到你和我,我得到我所需要的
看着周围,我看着那甜蜜的生活
我被困在黑暗中,但是你就是我的手电筒
你让我,你让我度过了那黑暗的夜
当你在我的眼睛里闪耀,我无法停止我的心跳
我不会说谎,这就是那甜蜜的生活
我被困在黑暗中,但是你就是我的手电筒
你让我,你让我度过了那黑暗的夜
因为你是我的手电筒
你就是我的手电筒,你就是我的手电筒
 
我看见影子在山顶之下
我不会害怕就算雨下不停
因为你照亮了这路
你照亮了这路,你照亮了这路
 
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Υποβλήθηκε από infiity13infiity13 στις Πέμ, 07/05/2015 - 13:03
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Flashlight

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1998Ruby19981998Ruby1998    Πέμ, 07/05/2015 - 13:44

Here are some suggestions to the translation:
The first line: 我会在自己的
It does not make any sense, it literally means 'I will be in myself'
To say 'I will be on my own'
我将会独自一个
Meaning 'I will be alone' literally.

Second line: 我感觉好害怕我不知道的事
The '感觉' here is used quite incorrectly, and so are '好' and the second '我'. '感觉' is a noun in Chinese. We would use '感到'
I would say: 我害怕着未知的事 (I fear of something that is unknown)

Seventh line: 我看天空
You left out a preposition '着'. It means 'at' generally.
Suggestion: 我抬头看着天空 (I lift my head and look up the sky)

Eighth: 和我在黑暗里,我找,我停,我不飞行
In Chinese, we don't use '和' here even though it is the same as 'and'. If so, this line would be 'In the dark together with me' rather than 'And in the dark I found'. Also, '我不飞行' is a bit strange. '飞行' is a noun, meaning aviation or flight.
Suggestion: 我在黑暗里,我找,我停,我不会飞

Second stanza

First line: 当我得你,我得到我需要的
This first part is incorrect. We won't say '我得你' even though '得' is a verb and it means 'get'. You left out the preposition '到', also the English line is 'I got you and I', you forget the 'I'. The second part of the line, you left out '所', which in this line, it means 'all'
Suggestion: 当我得到你和我,我得到我所需要的

Second line: 我看着我的周围,我看着那甜的生活
The '我的' is redundant. And to describe 'sweet' in Chinese here, we would use '甜蜜'
Suggestion: 我看着周围,我看着那甜蜜的生活

Third line: 我处在黑暗中,但是你就是我的手电筒
'处在' is a bit strange. We usually say '身处', which means 'body is in' literally. But since here the line says 'stuck', '身处' would not be the most accurate.
Suggestion: 我被困在黑暗中,但是你就是我的手电筒

Fifth line: 当你照耀我的眼睛里,我无法停止我的心跳
The words needed to be arranged into order in he first part of the sentence, because this part looks like 'Your glow is shining in my eyes'. Also, '照耀' is mostly used to describe the sun shining.
Suggestion: 当你在我的眼睛里闪耀,我无法停止我的心跳

Sixth line: 我不会说谎,这就是那甜的生活
Again, we would use '甜蜜'
Correction: 我不会说谎,这就是那甜蜜的生活

Third stanza

First line: 我看见你长长的影子在那山顶
The line in English has 'beneath', in this Chinese line, it would mean 'I see your long shadow on that mountain top.' And there is a bit of confusion here, the line says 'shadows', which means more than one. I doubt that if human can make two or more shadows at one time under the sun, so I guess '你' would not fit that much. The '长长' here would also be a problem, because 'long' is linked with the word 'beneath', it means the shadows are far under the mountain top.
Suggestion: 我看见影子在山顶之下

Second line: 虽然大雨一直下但我不要恐怕
'虽然' is commonly used when there are 'but' or 'although'. '不要' is 'don't want', but not 'am not' here. '恐怕' is also not quite used correctly. When you use '恐怕', a noun would be followed behind. Eg. '我恐怕猫狗' would be 'I am afraid of cats and dogs.'
Suggestion: 我不会害怕就算雨下不停

Alright, that's all.

infiity13infiity13    Πέμ, 07/05/2015 - 13:51

Thank you soooo much for correcting and explaining!!! Regular smile Teeth smile

infiity13infiity13    Πέμ, 07/05/2015 - 14:06

I'm fixing it now!! I'm totally thankful to youu!!!