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Fleur des murailles

Je suis la fleur des murailles
Dont avril est le seul bien.
Il suffit que tu t'en ailles
Pour qu'il ne reste plus rien.
 
Tu m'entoures d'Auréoles;
Te voir est mon seul souci.
Il suffit que tu t'envoles
Pour que je m'envole aussi.
 
Je respire où tu palpites,
Tu sais ; à quoi bon, hélas!
Rester là si tu me quittes,
Et vivre si tu t'en vas?
 
Si tu pars
A quoi bon vivre, étant l'ombre
De cet ange qui s'enfuit?
A quoi bon, sous le ciel sombre,
N'être plus que de la nuit?
 
Que veux-tu que je devienne
Si je n'entends plus ton pas ?
Est-ce ta vie ou la mienne
Qui s'en va ? Je ne sais pas.
 
Μετάφραση

Stone wall blossom

Here I am, the stone wall blossom,
and April is my only wealth.
You only have to go away
and I will be left with nothing.
 
You surround me with your haloes.
My only care is seeing you.
You only have to fly away
and soon I will be flying too.
 
I only breathe where your heart beats.
You know, what use would be, alas,
in staying if you should leave me
and living if you go away?
 
Should you leave,
why would I live as the shadow
of this angel who ran away?
Why would I be nothing but night
under an even darker sky?
 
What do you think shall befall me
should I no longer hear your step?
Is it your life or rather mine
that goes away? I couldn't say.
 
Les Discrets: Κορυφαία 3
Σχόλια
GavinGavin
   Δευ, 26/03/2018 - 07:56

Hi Pierre,

That's nicely done! You've kept a nice poetic touch there.

I can see what your trying with the shoulds/shalls but it's not quite right. The first two 'shalls' don't quite work. You really need 'should' in the both cases. Or you can mirror the french structure of 'if you...'

in staying if you should leave me
and living, *should* you go away? (or 'if you go away' or 'if you should go away')

Likewise: 'if you *should* leave'

however the 'shall' in the last verse does work. But maybe "what do you think shall become of me'

I thought 'haloes' was wrong but it appears it can be spelt with or without the 'e' so I've learnt something there! :)

GavinGavin
   Δευ, 26/03/2018 - 08:32

There rather tricky these modal verbs... but in general "shall" is future and "should" is conditional. But they can blur a little. I do rather like them but yes, maybe best used sparingly.
:)

GavinGavin
   Δευ, 26/03/2018 - 08:28

Shall befall me... yes, that has a nice ring to it! :)