Aleksandr Borisov

Романс Рощина → Αγγλικά μετάφραση

4 μεταφράσεις
Αγγλικά #1
+3 περισσότερα
, #2, Ιταλικά, Ουκρανικά
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1 translations of covers
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Πρωτότυποι στίχοι

Романс Рощина

Почему ж ты мне не встретилась,

Юная, нежная,

В те года мои далёкие,

В те года вешние?

Голова стала белою,

Что с ней я поделаю?

Почему же ты мне встретилась

Лишь сейчас?

Я забыл в кругу ровесников,

Сколько лет пройдено.

Ты об этом мне напомнила,

Юная, стройная.

Об одном только думаю,-

Мне жаль ту весну мою,

Что прошла, неповторимая, без тебя.

Как боится седина моя

Твоего локона,

Ты ещё моложе кажешься,

Если я около.

Видно, нам встреч не праздновать,

У нас судьбы разные.

Ты любовь моя последняя.

Боль моя.

Μετάφραση

Roshchin's Romance

Why did you and I not meet somehow,

Sweet and young, gentle one,

In those years of mine so long ago

In the spring of my years

Now my head has turned all to grey

What more is there left to say?

Why then have we only met somehow

Only now?

I forgot among my older friends

How the years passed away

You reminded me of what had gone

Sweet and young, ardent one

I can think only of one thing

And sad that my only spring

Passed away, and unrepeatably, without you.

How my white hairs are afraid before 

Beautiful locks of yours ,

You seem younger to me all the more 

Just as I am nearby .

No, for us there's no rendezvous .

We have two divided fates. 

You my final love must still remain. 

And my pain.

equirhythmic

Ομιοκατάληκτη μετάφραση

Ευχαριστώ! ❤
thanked 5 times

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Υποβλήθηκε από

shined στις 2021-05-17

Επεξεργάστηκε τελευταία φορά από το χρήστη

shined στις 2021-05-24

Σχόλια συντάκτη:

Difficult to translate both the odd rhyme scheme and the odd rhythm (Often 3 troches and a dactyl but not always)

Ο μεταφραστής ζήτησε επανέλεγχο.
Αυτό σημαίνει πως θα χαρεί να λάβει διορθώσεις, προτάσεις κλπ σχετικά με την μετάφραση.
Αν είστε ευφραδής και στις δυο γλώσσες του ζεύγους, παρακαλούμε αφήστε τα σχόλιά σας.

Παρακαλώ βοηθήστε στη μετάφραση του "Романс Рощина"

Ρωσικά → Γαλλικά Ksenia Usoltseva

Σχόλια

BlackSea4ever

Δευ, 17/05/2021 - 20:22

I think it’s hardly my place to give you advice, so please just think it suggestions:
Why did you and I not meet somehow, — why haven’t you and I met before now
Fresh and young, tender one, — [sounds like a chicken dish. Sorry. Truly.] You, young and tender one
Passed by unrepeatably without you. — passed without you, not to return
Why then have we met somehow Only now? — Why then have we met only Just now?

You know, [@layman] may be the best to help out as meter and rhyme elude me
Or [@brat] if he catches the call...

shined

Δευ, 17/05/2021 - 22:04

Yes, I grant the interpretation is a little loose. But for an over-the-top romantic song like this you need the meter and you need the rhymes. You need to be able to sing it to the tune. So something has to give. "Why haven't you and I met before now" (and its refrain at the end) is /uu /uu /u u/ (two dactyls, a troche and an iamb). But "Почему ж ты мне не встретилась" is /u /u /u /uu (three troches and a dactyl). I think you are right about the chicken. Need a two-syllable word for "tender" and I can probably get away with "Fresh and young." I thought "unrepeatably" was pretty good: it occurs at the same place in the line as неповторимая, scans identically, and means the same thing. The length of неповторимая makes it (and unrepeatedly) the longest word in the song by far, and it has a yearning quality.

Brat

Τρί, 18/05/2021 - 04:19

BlackSea4ever wrote:

Fresh and young, tender one, — [sounds like a chicken dish. Sorry. Truly.]

Почему ж ты мне не встретилась,
Юная, нежная? -
Коммунизм был без макдональдсов
В тот застой Брежнева:
Были все куры синие, -
Теперь кудри в инее,
И уж зубы не столь острые
У меня....

Btw, Dan, you have a couple of hardly singable lines:
1. In the springtime of my years - 1 extra syllable
2. What is there left to say? - 1 lacking one, though there's no problem stretching 'there' over 2 notes.
3. Passed by unrepeatably without you. - 2 syllables lacking
4. Whenever I am nearby - 1 extra one, this line is the toughest one...

shined

Τρί, 18/05/2021 - 14:31

Я был в «Ленинграде», когда Брежнев был президентом. Никаких макдональдсов, а большая ложка икры на хлебе с тележки за копейки. И морозеное было чудесным!

You are spot on about the syllables. How about:
1. In the spring of my years.
2. What more is there left to say
3. Passed away, and unrepeatedly, without you
4. Just as I am nearby

Brat

Τρί, 18/05/2021 - 15:24

shined wrote:

Я был в «Ленинграде», когда Брежнев был президентом. Никаких макдональдсов, а большая ложка икры на хлебе с тележки за копейки. И морозеное было чудесным!

You are spot on about the syllables. How about:
1. In the spring of my years.
2. What more is there left to say
3. Passed away, and unrepeatedly, without you
4. Just as I am nearby

Pretty good save that Brezhnev wasn't a president, however...
And I wonder where that caviar is now... Maybe Yeltsin ate it all up to the last grain...

Iremia

Δευ, 17/05/2021 - 21:49

Welcome back, Dan!

Iremia

Δευ, 17/05/2021 - 21:51

Sweet and young, gentle one.

shined

Δευ, 17/05/2021 - 22:44

Can you help with последняя? The line should say "you are my last love" and it should say ONLY that. This "still remain" is terrible. But there is no four-syllable English word for "last."

Iremia

Δευ, 17/05/2021 - 23:05

You’re my last love, and it will remain
So will my pain.

shined

Τρί, 18/05/2021 - 00:38

Nice idea but still stuck with the remain/pain. D