Hi,
I looked on this song to decide if I can translate it to Polish. I saw your translation and liked it on the whole. I know you translated it more than a year ago. I think I have only three remarks about the Hebrew.
The first is the title itself:
לא רואים עלייך
means : "they don't see/(nobody sees) upon/on you" and not "Nobody Sees You". You don't use this form, except in the first line so it doesn't matter to much, still ...
Second thing:
את מסתירה ממני
means "you hide from me" - present tense (!), "hide" as a transitive verb, you hide things/thoughts (but you don't hide yourself - in Hebrew it's different form of the verb).
Third thing:
מקשקש
originally, literally means to wag - the dog wags its tail. In everyday speech it's "you wag your tongue" ,as you say - prattle.
מתקשקשת
is a reflexive form of the verb, "extension" to the slang. It means you have some task to do or decision to take and you just do it in a kind of circular way, a lot of action/thought but no tangible results, again, a lot of wagging action, energy spent but nothing done/no decision taken.
I don't think today you have to change something (unless you want to, of course), just for your knowledge and the future encounters with Hebrew
Good luck and health